I heard my son’s first words today
“Dad where have you been?”
thefun
People say that Jesus died a virgin
I don’t get it, didn’t he get nailed in the end?
A robber enters a bank and points a gun at the teller
Robber: Put all the money in the bag or you’re Geography!Teller: Don’t you mean History?Robber: Don’t change the subject!
Only subscribe if….
Only Subscribe, if you think I’m worth your time and subscription.If you’ve subscribed, just comment down below that you’ve and why, then i will sub… Read More »Only subscribe if….
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean he just blew up overnight.
My internet is slow but hopefully this posts quickly…HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Have a great 2019!
Don’t let anyone tell you that you are ugly.
Yes, you are ugly. Just don’t let anyone tell you that.
The Southern Grandma
-Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his… Read More »The Southern Grandma
A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door
He looks out the window and sees a police officer so he opens up and says, “hello officer, what can I do for you?” the… Read More »A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door
What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A slut sleeps with everyoneA bitch sleeps with everyone except you
Just had a bad reaction to Remicade!
Just like the title says, after being on bi-monthly Remicade infusions for almost 2 years, today my body decided it didn’t want anything to do… Read More »Just had a bad reaction to Remicade!
All my friends jokingly said that this girl I have a date with is imaginary.
Well, the joke is on them. Because so are they
What is the equivalent of 2,000 mocking birds?
2 kilomockingbirds.
Three blondes walk into a building.
You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.
One day a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
“Eighty pounds,” the dentist says. “That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?” “Well,” the dentist says, “if you don’t use… Read More »One day a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
Jack: I found us two doors to float on
Rose: that’s OK, I’ll just share yours
A man got hit in the head with a can of cola.
He’s alright tho, it was a soft drink.
A little boy and his father visited the country store, and upon leaving the store, the owner of the store offered the little boy some free Sweets…
“grab a hand full of Sweets”, the merchant said to the boy.The boy just stood there looking up at his father.The owner repeated himself:- “Son… Read More »A little boy and his father visited the country store, and upon leaving the store, the owner of the store offered the little boy some free Sweets…
How long did it take you?
– How long did it take you to reach 100 subs?Always wondered how long it took someone else and what was it a lot of… Read More »How long did it take you?
JOKESTER
Laughing makes your vagina tighter, so maybe you should stop scrolling past my jokes, loosey goosey.
Did you hear about the power failure at the post office?
They were enveloped in darkness.
Why are you still guarding it?
A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 privates guarding a bench. He went over there and asked them… Read More »Why are you still guarding it?
You have to give it to the Chinese.
They somehow managed to make an entire language out of bad tattoos.
There are two things that will never get old…
Dark humour and unvaccinated children.
Yesterday I Spotted an Albino Dalmatian.
It was the least I could do for the guy.
there is love without sex, and there is sex without love.
and then there’s you, without both.
I knew I shouldn’t have taken my dog to the blacksmith
As soon as we got there, he made a bolt for the door
I walked in on my grandma sucking my grandpa’s dick.
I have no idea why it wasn’t cremated with the rest of him!
I’ve been dating this girl who works at the zoo.
I’m pretty sure she’s a keeper.