A rather bad man dies and meets Satan…

A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice.”So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Not very nice, he thought.Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee.”Of the three, this one looks best,” he said and waded in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door.A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his head in and said, “Ok, coffee break’s over, back on your heads!”

Nothing like a nice cold beer after a nice cold beer.

September 17

Read More

A man finds a genie in a bottle He rubs it. A genie pops out “you have two wishes” The guy says “hold up, aren’t I supposed to get three wishes?” the genie replies “Check your pants” The guy looks down his pants, and slightly surprised, says “how did you know?” Genie says “I’ve been […]

September 17

Read More

Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password: “VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento” When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital.”

September 17

Read More

Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking. I went into the fridge the next day and grabbed a beer Cause I’m not going to listen to a fucking drunk talking to themselves.

September 16

Read More

My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am…… ….. an Ice Cube

September 16

Read More

My wife recently discovered I was cheating after she found all those letters I’d been hiding. She got really mad and said she’s never going to play Scrabble with me again.

September 15

Read More

Sex is like pizza

Even when it’s bad, they still expect me to pay for it

September 15

Read More

I’m really not worried about anti-vaxxers….. It’s a dying movement.

September 14

Read More

What small thing screams “I’m rich”? A dwarf who just won the lottery.

September 12

Read More

A man walks into a bar…

The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.” The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.” The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?” […]

September 12

Read More