I’m a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their sperm. I think they are completely crazy.

There was a story being told around in the early 2000s, when there was a lot of hysteria about harmful radiation from cellphones.Apparently, some people got agitated over a new cellular base station tower built on top of their apartment building. They petitioned the municipality, brought documents from hospitals, saying: “This thing is making us sick! We have headaches, skin diseases and, one guy even got cancer!”. At some point they came with a protest to the cell company office, and the only guy around was the on-call engineer. So they turned to him yelling about cancer and headaches and the rest, and he scratched his belly and said “Awful, truly awful. Imagine what will happen when we turn it on”.

You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table, thrusts a girl on it, and fucks her? I just did that, but with a pizza..

October 19

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Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.

October 17

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On our first date. Her: I really like men who plan ahead. Me: That’s why I drank 2 litres of pineapple juice today.

October 17

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False alarm

I’m devastated. I just had a look at my doctor’s notes and he’s written that after my accident, I’ll never be able to wank again. Edit: False alarm! I asked him about it and he chuckled about the whole “doctors have bad handwriting” cliche. It’s meant to say walk. What a relief!

October 16

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Friends are like boobs some are real some are fake

October 16

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Give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you can sleep with his wife while he’s fishing.

October 14

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Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.

October 13

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I beat my wife at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.

October 8

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King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old ugly witch can cure him. But the witch demanded a young handsome knight for husband, and Galahad took it for the team and married her. On the night of the wedding, the witch turned into a beautiful woman and offered Galahad the choice, […]

October 8

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my mate asked “what’s the secret to your happy marriage?” I replied.. “Chemistry… I’m on valium and the hubby’s on Prozac”

October 7

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