Never get stuck behind the devil in a Post Office queue
For the devil can take many forms
Work Jokes
Work jokes for anyone counting down to five o’clock. Office humor, meetings that should have been emails, impossible bosses and the eternal battle with the printer, it is all here. Share these funny work jokes with a colleague who needs a laugh, ideally not during the actual meeting.
I got my fired my first day as a coin flip referee in the NFL.
I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything.
My taxi driver asked me what I did for a living.
Me: work as a web developer and also part time as a graphic designer.Driver: I don’t like working for anyone, I like to be my… Read More »My taxi driver asked me what I did for a living.
I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee “Do you have any books by Shakespeare?”
Employee: Of course sir. Which one?Me: William.
I experienced the WORST customer service yesterday at a shop.
I don’t want to mention the name of the shop because I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed. On Wednesday I bought something from… Read More »I experienced the WORST customer service yesterday at a shop.
Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, “Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin’ deposit over here.”
The teller is a little taken aback by the customer’s language, but does her best to be professional.”Sir, I’m more than happy to help with… Read More »Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, “Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin’ deposit over here.”
A man goes into his bosses office
Man: I was just checking in to see if I could get the day off to help my wife do the yearly christmas cleaning?Boss: Absolutely… Read More »A man goes into his bosses office
The opposite of Microsoft Office is…
Macrohard Onfire.
What’s that shiny object?
A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale.She asks the shop assistant, ‘What is that?’The assistant… Read More »What’s that shiny object?
There are rumours that the reason I’m leaving the company is because I was fired for breaking the windshield of my boss’s Honda car…
the truth is… It’s of my own Accord
Celery groups
Hello, im doing a small scrapper using flask and celery, I want to run these scrappers in a celery group. But i cant get my… Read More »Celery groups
Little Johnny was annoying his mom so she sent him to the next house over where they were building a new house.
She said, “Johnny go watch the men working and come back and tell me what you learned.”So Johnny went and watched the construction workers work… Read More »Little Johnny was annoying his mom so she sent him to the next house over where they were building a new house.
A man was out hunting one day..
He had all the gear, the jacket the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and… Read More »A man was out hunting one day..
A man suspected his wife of cheating on him. (A long one, but a good one)
He suspected his wife was having an affair and cheating on him during her lunch hour at work. One day, he decided to leave work… Read More »A man suspected his wife of cheating on him. (A long one, but a good one)
Favourite final ‘boss’ minigame?
In Mario Party’s 3,4,5,7,8, they did not have bosses but they had a final showdown what’s your favourite one of these?
Don’t speak to the parrot
The plumber was coming over to repair a pipe while the family where all at work. They had agreed where to leave the key, and… Read More »Don’t speak to the parrot
F**k off Bill
A software engineer was waiting in the VIP lounge for his flight from JFK airport. He was supposed to meet his colleague for a coffee… Read More »F**k off Bill
Trump has been impeached
Now it’s the Senate’s job to find out how he got in there
Every time you eat an apple, someone in the medical industry is fired
Edit: wow thanks for the up doots guys, i wasn’t expecting so many 🙂
Chemists
Two chemists walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you?” The first chemist responds, “I’d like some H2O.” The second chemists… Read More »Chemists
A man with window cleaning gear knocks at the door.
An elderly woman opens.”Did you order window cleaning service?””Yes. Come on in!”A few minutes later a man with window cleaning gear knocks at the door.”Good… Read More »A man with window cleaning gear knocks at the door.
What’s the difference between masterbation and a hand job
Single player vs local Co op
Two government officials go on a diplomatic tour.
One night, they are invited to a dinner with several other officials from different countries. Having arrived at the dinner, the two officials see that… Read More »Two government officials go on a diplomatic tour.
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, “Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce.” As he finished… Read More »A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Naughty Norbert…
Little Norbert was kicked out of Maths class by his teacher. Apparently, “mouthwash” wasn’t the right answer for the question “what comes after 69?” ????… Read More »Naughty Norbert…
I don’t know why they have to Italian, but … (longish)
A young Italian bride is to spend her wedding night at her mother’s house. The bride and groom retire to the bedroom, where the groom… Read More »I don’t know why they have to Italian, but … (longish)
So I was getting a blow job from this dude…
Everything was going great until I looked down, saw that I was wearing crocs, and realized that I’m gay.
All women are bi
It’s your job to guess whether it’s sexual or polar.
Pokemon Related joke
What do you call an office type regi?Registration
Little John
Little John will have visits in her home. So, the mother tell him: -“Little John, this night we will receive visits. Please, whatever it happens… Read More »Little John