Skip to content

Marriage Jokes

Marriage jokes for anyone who has said I do and lived to laugh about it. From nagging spouses to selective hearing and the joys of a shared bank account, these jokes poke fun at wedded life in all its glory. Read a few to your other half, if you dare.

A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”

Well, it was an immediate hit.They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend… Read More »A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…

“Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?”Of course, the wife agrees and they… Read More »A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…

JOKESTER

Wife: “I’ve heard, men start to go deaf, if he takes Viagra often.” Husband: “Who the fuck is Jeff and why is he taking you… Read More »JOKESTER

JOKESTER

My heart sank when I came home early and saw the plumbers van parked in our drive. Thankfully though, he was in there fcuking my… Read More »JOKESTER

JOKESTER

Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I’m a piece of meat… ….And it wouldn’t bother me, if she wasn’t a vegan.

JOKESTER

A couple are fussing over their new born baby boy “Look at the size of his willy. Its huge”. Says the husband. ….. “Yes, but… Read More »JOKESTER

A man’s wife is 38 weeks pregnant with twins and he has to go on a month long business trip. Because the man knows that his wife will have the kids while he is gone he puts his brother in charge of accompanying his wife to the hospital and naming the kids.

Half way through the man’s trip, he gets a phone call from his brother who says, “Your wife just had a beautiful baby girl and… Read More »A man’s wife is 38 weeks pregnant with twins and he has to go on a month long business trip. Because the man knows that his wife will have the kids while he is gone he puts his brother in charge of accompanying his wife to the hospital and naming the kids.

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.

Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty. She bought it and threw it into… Read More »A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.

A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”

A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”His wife reminded… Read More »A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”

TheFun.Net in Bulgarian: bg.thefun.net – 16 000+ вица на български