don’t change the subject
Charles came home at four in the morning and found his wife lying awake in the bed. “Where you until this hour of the morning?”… Read More »don’t change the subject
Marriage Jokes
Marriage jokes for anyone who has said I do and lived to laugh about it. From nagging spouses to selective hearing and the joys of a shared bank account, these jokes poke fun at wedded life in all its glory. Read a few to your other half, if you dare.
our sofa
I walked in today and my wife slammed the laptop down on the table and said, “There’s pictures of naked women on the laptop, what… Read More »our sofa
I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs.
I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs. If I wanted someone to flash their tits, come on to me, take my money, then… Read More »I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs.
always
I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.
My wife said that I should use the term ‘make love’ instead of…
My wife said that I should use the term ‘make love’ instead of ‘fuck.’ What the make love is she talking about?
while I sleep
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
prank
My father-in-law is hilarious. He recorded the lotto numbers from a news broadcast the night before on DVR then picked a ticket containing those numbers… Read More »prank
lately
I said to my wife, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” She giggled and said, “No” I said, “Doesn’t that tell you… Read More »lately
picture
I was going to buy some Viagra when the cashier asked what I needed it for…. Without saying anything I whipped out a picture of… Read More »picture
So, the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration.
So, the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration. After handing them to him, he asks who the car belongs to. I… Read More »So, the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration.
birds
Once upon a time, they were known as love birds. Then they found love and got married. Now, they’re angry birds!
chance
My wife said “Tell me you love me”. I replied, “Give me a fucking chance, I’m only on my 8th beer”.
Some advice:
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.
explanation
wife:”could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my arse? ” husband:”could you explain to me, why you… Read More »explanation
Never lie to a smart woman!
Never Lie to a smart woman…
A man called home to his wife & said, “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in Canada with my boss & friends… We’ll be gone for a week.. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion i’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week,set out my rod & fishing box . We’re leaving from office & I will swing by the house to pick my things .. Oh and Please pack my new blue silk pajamas..” The wife thinks about this, being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.. Read More »Never lie to a smart woman!
They all gonna die!
I just read a report that said men should ejaculate at least 5 Times a week to prevent prostate cancer so what I got from… Read More »They all gonna die!
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