There was a man named John Odd
There was this man named John Odd, and he hated his last name.People constantly made fun of it, called him and his wife “The Odd… Read More »There was a man named John Odd
Marriage Jokes
Marriage jokes for anyone who has said I do and lived to laugh about it. From nagging spouses to selective hearing and the joys of a shared bank account, these husband and wife jokes poke fun at wedded life in all its glory. Read a few to your other half, if you dare.
My wife made us late and we missed the previews before new movie Cats…
…I hate when she makes me miss the best part of movies
My dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex.
We laughed about it for a while. Then I remembered me and my wife have different dentists.
My neighbor is a 90 year old with alzheimer’s, I see him every morning and he asks me If I’ve seen his wife. Everyday I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.
Couples Counsellor: So, what brings you here today?
My wife: I can’t stand it any more. He’s too literal.Me: My truck.
Last night i used Vaseline with my wife and came 10 times
Once with her and 9 in the shower trying to wash it off
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”His wife reminded… Read More »A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
A man wanders back home at 3:00 am.
His wife: You are late.You said you would be home by 11:45 pm.Man:(Casually) I said i would be home by a quarter of 12.
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage…
when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in… Read More »A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage…
A Klansman, a murderer and a wife beater walks to a bar
The bartender says: “Hello Officer, what would you like to drink?”