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Jokes

  • They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work…

    They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work
    Which is ridiculous, I’m already very good at it.

  • A husband, wracked with guilt finally confesses to his…

    A husband, wracked with guilt finally confesses to his wife……”dear, when I have sex with you, I often think of other women!”
    “You bastard!” she cried “When I have sex with other men, I only think of you!”

  • A politician who had been dating a woman decides to investigate…

    A politician who had been dating a woman decides to investigate her background before proposing. So he hires a private detective to snoop on her. Sometime later, the detective sends his report.
    “The lady comes from a decent family, has a great job and a flawless character. The only issue is that she has recently been dating a politician with a shady reputation.”

  • don`t worry!

    After a long night of frenzied, hot and passionate love making, a guy notices a photo of another man on the woman’s bedside table.
    He starts to worry.
    “Is that your husband?” he asked nervously.
    “No silly!” She replied, snuggling up to him
    “Your boyfriend then?” he continues
    “No, not at all!” She replied…..nibbling his ear..
    “Your brother or you father?” he asks, looking for reassurance.
    “No no no, oh baby, you’re so sexy when you get jealous!” She replied sliding her hand across his chest and heading down south
    “Well who is he?” The guy demanded
    She looked him in his eyes tenderly and leaned down towards his ear and she gently whispered
    “That’s me, before the surgery!”

  • I was hoping after coronavirus…. … there would be no more…

    I was hoping after coronavirus….
    … there would be no more monkey business.

  • I’m so depressed that I knew.

    If you don’t know the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist…
    congratulations, you’re doing great!

  • The best mexican joke is a juan-liner

    How does every Mexican joke start?
    By looking over your shoulder.

  • Wedding joke

    There is a cure for nymphomania, but it’s expensive.
    It can be cheap, but most people want a big ceremony, open bar at the reception, etc.

  • I’m still waiting…for the boze at least

    When I was a kid, I was told that bad people would come up to me on the street and offer me drugs, booze, and sex.
    So where the fuck are these people?

  • They say that the average man ejaculates at 20mph.

    They say that the average man ejaculates at 20mph.
    I’m clearly not average then…
    My new girlfriend has been with a lot of guys and according to her, I definitely cum much quicker than all of them!