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Why can’t Putin communicate effectively with his generals?
Why can’t Putin communicate effectively with his generals?
Because he has to shout his orders from across the table.
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Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re…
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re attached to the number one leading cause of stress.
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Everything is goes to the plan
In fact, putler is sending his reserve army to Ukraine to find out what happened to the regular one.
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A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today, I will demonstrate how to use a condom”.
After he starts eating the banana, a student asks “I thought you were going to show us how to use a condom?”
“I’m about to” says the teacher, “but I can’t get hard on an empty stomach.”
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Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Husband: Well this morning if I’m not mistaken.
Wife: Yeah in your dreams.Husband: No love In your coffee actually.
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Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all?
Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all?
Jane: Yes I do.
Mary: Wow, what sports do you do?
Jane: I do cross fit
Mary: Cross fit? What’s that?
Jane: It’s where I cross my fingers and hope my clothes fit!
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He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another…
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another round right after they finished having sex.
“Come again?”
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I’m not racist my sense of humor is black.
I’m not racist my sense of humor is black.
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Boss: “You have to take a drugs test.” Me: *knows all the drugs*…
Boss: “You have to take a drugs test.”
Me: *knows all the drugs* “No problem…”
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Phone: Files have been saved to device.
Phone: Files have been saved to device.
Me: Sweet. Where?
Phone: I don’t know.
Jokes
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