OK. I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.
I’ve got nothing to hide.
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
My friend was itchin for a pie
So I told him to make one from scratch.
My cat at one of my awards.. and can’t quite poop it out
It’s a real cat-ass-trophy
Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
If I only had a week to live, I’d spend every day of it at work.
There, even just eight hours last fucking forever.
My dog pooped in my bed this morning
I forgive her though, shit happens.
Why did the waiter’s computer system not work?
Because of a server error.
What are the 3 hottest things you can do to a woman during foreplay?
VacuumDishesLaundry
My math teacher never goes outside.
I can tell, cos there’s no sin of his tan.
Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left?
The opposite of right.
Why are Executioners so good at their jobs?
Because they execute it perfectly
How do you know anything about anybody?
They’ll tell you
joke of cuort room:;
funy joke i made.:judge in courtroom: ORDR! ORDER!man 1: cheese bueger plaesejudge: shut the up…man: NO!! i order 7up!!
An not at all crumby pun!
What do you call a piece of bread that has genetic deficiencies after multiple generations of breeding?Inbread.
I had a kid in the back of a police car
i named it nina
I’m cutting you off
You’ve been bungee jumping too much
What did one snowman say to the other while snacking?
This carrot tastes like boogers.
Foucault: Schools serve the same social functions as prisons and hospitals
Foucault’s mother: You’re still going.
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
The polar bear.
My girlfriend said we need to spend more quality time together.
So I bought her a tea set and a koala and said wtf are we supposed to do now?
Hab nem Kollegen nen Limonadenwitz erzählt
Den Fanta lustig
Disrespectful kid gets slapped by detroit OG
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Why did the bear have anger issues?
He was a bipolar bear
I support LGBTQ
Liberty, Guns, Bible, Trump, BBQ.
I have a saying in life when it comes to kids
Adopt don’t shop
Jack the Ripper goes to the Dr. with a stabbing pain…
Dr says, “Tell me more”.Jack says ” My whole shoulder is sore”.
Have you seen the movie about constipation?
Oh wait no, it probably didn’t come out
My friend was the best in Russian Roulette
He only lost once
My dad smashed my PS4 today
so i smashed his wife