Why the political leaders of drawing utensils avoid supporting gay pride movement?
Most of the rulers are straight.
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Why does santa have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year
What does Jewish Mario say?
It’s-a me, Jewish Mario
My friend asked me what my plans were 2 weeks from now.
I said “Not sure, I don’t have 2020 vision”
Why is Santa’s sack so big ?
. . Cause he only comes once a year.
Dogs are either one of two things…
A bitch or a son of a bitch
There was a spider in our house
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.Went out.Had a few drinks.Nice guy.He’s a web designer.
Why did Dre go to prison?
Because he gave his kids beats
Spelling the word panda is easy;
You just need the letter P and A.
I’m so broke
You can call me saint nickel-less.
My wife always has a headache when I come home from work. I asked her if I could help her get rid of it.
She said, “Yes, leave the room.”
Randomgroup has been created
Put anything random memes jokes anything like that
What’s osama bin laden favorite football team
The New York jets
My kid, who’s into astronomy asked me how stars die
“Usually from suicide or overdose, son” i told him
Relationships are like revolving doors
You just have to find the right time to sneak in and out
I told a communism joke
Nobody laughed, they said it didn’t work.
This Christmas, remember to do your shopping at Vile.Amazon.com
That way, a certain percentage of your spending goes towards the Republican Party.
A guy tried to sell me a fake Picasso, but I didn’t buy it.
I used my artistic lie-sense.
A horse goes into a bar
“Hey horse, why the long face?””I’m not a horse, I’m Adrien Brody”
How do you fart in another language?
You eat foreign food.
How much does a doctor that performs circumcisions make?
Nothing, he just keeps the tips.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from all the reposts on this sub…
WIFE: I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided I’m just not a kid person.
ME: Hey… [taking her hand] the word you’re looking for is “adult.”
I had a mild case of insanity.
The doctors said I should stop playing INSAN-D.
What happened to the arrogant red-shirt who demanded his Star Fleet Captain beam him up?
He was hoisted by his own Piccard.
I recently put poison ivy in the bed of a guy that I don’t like.
It was a rash decision on my part.
What’s the difference between my real dad and recycled saran wrap?
One’s the transparent piece of garbage and the other’s a garbage, trans-parent.
Why are french ducks so attractive?
They have a certain “je ne sais quack’”.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian
OK. I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.
I’ve got nothing to hide.