Last night i used Vaseline with my wife and came 10 times
Once with her and 9 in the shower trying to wash it off
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
I gave my daughter a watch for Christmas. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, “That’s a pretty watch you’ve got there! Does it tell you the time?”
She laughed and said, “No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!”
Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they make the toys.
A man wanders back home at 3:00 am.
His wife: You are late.You said you would be home by 11:45 pm.Man:(Casually) I said i would be home by a quarter of 12.
Teacher: “Class, today we are going to Bangladesh.”
Kid named Ladesh: wha…
Im giving up drinking for a year
Whoops, that came out wrongIm giving up, drinking for a year.
Granma dances better than everyone. (Now with actual pixels.)
View CommentsPlay0:000:00SettingsFullscreen
What is this bug?
View CommentsPlay0:000:00SettingsFullscreen
What do you call it when a cow pleasures himself?
Some say MOOsterbation, but I’ve always been partial to Beef Strokinoff.
If they call sex with three people a threesome and sex with four people a foursome…
then I see why they call you handsome!