One day, not too far off, Florida will be an entirely Blue state.
With the sea level rising, it’ll be underwater.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions
Every year I tune into ‘Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve’ thinking this will be the year it’s worth watching.
But they always drop the ball.
I’ve opened up a restaurant called “Karma”
There is no menu, you get what you deserve.
We shouldn’t worry about our phones and TVs spying on us.
However, our vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years now.
JOKESTER
Get you a girl who doesn’t have a wrong hole.
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on new years eve?
He got 12 months!
A knock knock joke for automotive savvy people
Knock knock.Who’s there?Sensor.Sensor who?P0325
Going 20 years sober on January 5th!
It will be 20 years since I last had a drink on the 5th of January. I drink on all of the other days.
What did the vampire say after drinking the donkey’s blood?
Tastes like ass.