“Dad, I’m so excited. I got a B in reading!”
Dad: That’s a D, idiot.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
Since it’s New Years, I can say I haven’t showered in a year!
Actually it’s probably been about a year and a half
A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was
I said “Sir, this is 2020. You can use any printer you want”.
What’s it called when you marry a shoemaker?
Marrying your sole-mate
My brain: knows NYE stands for New year’s Eve.Also my brain: New…
My brain: knows NYE stands for New year’s Eve.Also my brain: New York eity
Knock-knock
Who’s there?Abby.Abby who?Abby new year!
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.
Uno, dos… poof. He disappeared without a tres.
Early Celebrations
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5thWhy?Because I like to reduce fractions.Happy New Year
Guys, I think this sub is really improving.
I haven’t seen a repost since last decade.