Two tourists visited Rome. What happened?
They two roamed restlessly!
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Bob has no arms
Knock knockWho’s thereNot Bob
What does the pop musician say to the jazz musician?
To the airport please.
What animal is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey! It’s always stuffed!
Is it possible to recover from Margarine Fondling Syndrome?
My cousin Jeff had it, said he’s feeling butter now.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
A measuring cup got sent to prison
He was found guilty in the quart of law for litering
People really need to appreciate sidewalks more
Who else kept you off the streets growing up?
Why are dogs afraid to go to space?
Because of the vacuum.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC
Because it’s finger likin good
Why are guitarist good with women?
We know are way around a G String.
Ten chimpanzees are standing in a line.
The 1st, 3rd, 5th, and 7th chimps are asked to step forward.They are the prime apes.
Why did Niki Minaj start melting when she used vaseline?
Because vaseline breaks down plastic
My 0.5-year-old cousin wants to tell you all this joke
people who make up stories and say it was their “4-year-old cousin”
Why are eggs bad bomb defusers?
They easily crack under pressure.
I hope Attack on Titan and Tekken have a crossover
A Tekken Titan would be great!
I had to put down my best friend today…
You hear that Kevin? You piece of shit.
What do you call a dictionary high on drugs?
High-definition
Anti-Vaxxers are less likely to have the cold
Because they’re already dead
I got kicked out of karaoke after singing “Danger Zone” nine times in a row.
Too many Loggins attempts.
Why did Thor suddenly become gay?
He wanted to focus on going for the head.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam??
Ya don’t jelly-it up your missus arse!!!
You should never EVER give up on your dreams!
That’s why you should keep sleeping!
Hey can we pick up my mom on the way to church?
Uber: sureme: Cool, I’ll cancel the hearse.
What’s green and probably hurts like Hell?
A cactus tampon.
Tried facial recognition on my phone
Sad to report, it doesn’t provide the source link
I got a stripper cake as a gift for Christmas
Its the thot that counts
Was in a room full of people and the dog walked up and sat right next to me!!!
Sadly, I was at the airport and it was a drug dog.
A father and son went jogging together
Suddenly, the father had a heart attack.His last words were, “I had a good run.”
Sometimes I worry I need to be more productive.
But then I think, “who am I to tell me what to do?”