A chemist walks into a bar and orders a Pb&J sandwich.
He dies of lead poisoning.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
My 5 yr old son was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me “Is that a mummy Ionglegs under that daddy Ionglegs?”
No son, there is no mummy Ionglegs only daddy Ionglegs.” I felt pretty proud of my answer, until he stomps on both spiders saying, “We’ll… Read More »My 5 yr old son was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me “Is that a mummy Ionglegs under that daddy Ionglegs?”
People used to call me ugly until they saw my bank account….
Now they call me ugly and poor
I heard a story once about an American train driver.
He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a… Read More »I heard a story once about an American train driver.
A Pig had insomnia and decided to see a Doctor
Pig: Doctor, I’ve been having these terrible nightmares and I can’t sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?Doctor: Can you describe your nightmares to… Read More »A Pig had insomnia and decided to see a Doctor
Did you hear about the boxer who wrapped his tighty-whities around his shoes?
He went through his whole career undie-feeted.
When the doctor diagnosed me with dyslexia
It was music to my arse
Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda’s surname on that new Star Wars show??
I can’t believe it’s Layheehoo
Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
A: They give them gas.
Three logicians enter a bar
The bartender asks them: “Do all three of you want beer?”The first one said: “I don’t know.”The second also said: “I don’t know.”The third one… Read More »Three logicians enter a bar
Someone stole the tires off all the police cars.
The cops are working on it tirelessly.
In which form would the enormous poet always write his poems?
In Iambig Pentameter
Just Post Malone things
Q: What did Post Malone eat for breakfast? A: Toast MaloneQ: What did Post Malone spray on before he left the house? A: Post CologneQ:… Read More »Just Post Malone things
Today I asked the hot girl at the gym what her New Year’s resolution was.
She said “Fuck You…”…So, I’m pretty excited about 2020.
This Time of the Year…
Am I the only one who thinks of Mr. Stay Puft when I step on snow and hear it smoosh? Always reminded me of the… Read More »This Time of the Year…
The people of Iranian city of Isfahan were famous for their jokes and puzzles.
An Iranian townsman planned to visit Isfahan so he asked his friends what they would like him to bring them from the glorious metropolis.They said,… Read More »The people of Iranian city of Isfahan were famous for their jokes and puzzles.
A couple with kids had made a pact that they would always fulfill each other’s physical desires every time they were in the mood. They had also thought of a secret way of communicating with each-other so that the kids would not understand..
For example, every time one was in the mood for sex, they would say to the other: “can you please help me type a letter… Read More »A couple with kids had made a pact that they would always fulfill each other’s physical desires every time they were in the mood. They had also thought of a secret way of communicating with each-other so that the kids would not understand..
The baby reindeer asked the mother reindeer if it would snow this Christmas.
The mother replied sorry it’ll rain dear.
Watch an 8 year old middle aged man swallow a popsicle whole.
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If you’re looking for a good swamp to live in
then you better make sure you have the right bayou right by you.
No wonder reddit has a repost problem
I mean after all it is called read it.
There was a young man…
There was a young manFrom Cork who got limericksand haiku’s confused
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other one?
See you next period.
I was so close to winning lotto
I had all the right numbers but they were in the wrong order.
I went to the store and bought naked juice, then called my dad
“Dad, I got naked at the store!” I told him.“Son, your an idiot”
What did the shower say???
Every naked person turns me on!
The date is August 6, 1945
A Japanese man in Hiroshima starts wakes up in the morning before getting a seriously important job interview.He walks outside in his fancy suit to… Read More »The date is August 6, 1945
Bad Couriers
I sent recently sent Reddit a joke about receiving parcels. Half of the viewers said they didn’t get it. Must’ve been a problem with the… Read More »Bad Couriers
24 Hours to Live
Barry returned from a doctor’s visit one day and told his wife Carol that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping… Read More »24 Hours to Live
Meteorologist
If you attacked a meteorologist with a lime green morph suit no one would realize what’s going on.