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You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table, thrusts a girl on it, and fucks her? I just did that, but… Read More »You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table,…
Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.
On our first date. Her: I really like men who plan ahead. Me: That’s why I drank 2 litres of pineapple juice today.
I’m devastated. I just had a look at my doctor’s notes and he’s written that after my accident, I’ll never be able to wank again.… Read More »False alarm
Friends are like boobs some are real some are fake
Give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you can sleep with his wife while he’s… Read More »Give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day.
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
I beat my wife at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.
King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old ugly witch can cure him. But the witch demanded a young handsome knight… Read More »King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old…
my mate asked “what’s the secret to your happy marriage?” I replied.. “Chemistry… I’m on valium and the hubby’s on Prozac”