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Reason
Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon
The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said…
“No. That’s why we want to go to the moon.”
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Apparently there’s a new sex position called Parcel Force.
Apparently there’s a new sex position called Parcel Force.
You stay in all day and no one comes
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My wife said, “You always come home in a bad mood…” “I can’t…
My wife said, “You always come home in a bad mood…”
“I can’t remember the last time you came home in a good mood.”
I said, “That’s because you weren’t here.”
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Can confirm
What’s the smartest thing about people?
their phones
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Next year
Putin visits Ukraine
Immigration officer says: “Name?”. – “Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin”.
“Address?” – “Kremlin, Moscow, Russia”.
“Occupation?” – “No, probably next year”.
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My money
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
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Cancel
This year, my New Years resolution is to finally go to the gym…
… and cancel that membership I’m been wasting money on every month since last year.
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Do you understand me?
My new year’s resolution is I’m going to be less condescending.
And by the way, condescending means talking down to people.
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The three life stages of sex Age 18-35: Tri-Weekly Age 35-60:…
The three life stages of sex
Age 18-35: Tri-Weekly
Age 35-60: Try Weekly
Age 60-90: Try Weakly
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My GF says she was born by Cesarean section.
My GF says she was born by Cesarean section.
I always wondered why she left my car through the sunroof.