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What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad?
What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad? +4407
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My girlfriend is like terms and conditions Because I ignore…
My girlfriend is like terms and conditions
Because I ignore everything she says and agree with her.
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Success is relative….
Success is relative….
The more success, the more relatives you have!
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My wife left me because of autocorrect That’s the last time…
My wife left me because of autocorrect
That’s the last time she’ll ever text me saying “Can you please bring home some milf from the supermarket?”
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You can make a capitalist poor and they’ll still believe in…
You can make a capitalist poor and they’ll still believe in Capitalism
But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
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Son: Dad, is there any place in the world where everyone loves…
Son: Dad, is there any place in the world where everyone loves everyone, no matter what their skin color, gender, religion or race is?
Father: Yes, Son! It’s called Pornhub.
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My girlfriend broke up with me for being too ‘un-American’ I saw…
My girlfriend broke up with me for being too ‘un-American’
I saw it coming from a kilometre away.
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Being a man means doing what I want when I want and not having…
Being a man means doing what I want when I want and not having to answer to…
Shit, she’s coming!!! Be cool.
To be continued…
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Police: Who the hell ordered all these pizzas?
Police: Who the hell ordered all these pizzas?
Me: You said I had one phone call…
Jokes
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