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I still wear a mask… because I no longer remember how to…
I still wear a mask…
because I no longer remember how to control my facial expressions in public ?
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Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited…
Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited version ?
**** ***** *********** *** **** *** ****** *** * **** ******* ***** ***** ****** ** !!
What a classic
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So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately
For her birthday I got her a dress 2 sizes smaller with a note “I’m looking forward to seeing you in this” thinking this might motivate her.The next day, I found the exact same note for me except it was on a pack of large sized condoms.
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Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol “Z”?
Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol “Z”?
Because the other half of the swastika fell off due to poor Russian maintenance.
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I’d never be unfaithful to my wife…
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife…
I love my house too much.
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When love fades…
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s lovely voice from the kitchen.
“What would you like for dinner, my Love. . . Chicken, beef or lamb?”
I said, “Thank you, I’ll have chicken.”
She replied “You’re having soup, a**hole. I was talking to the cat.”
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A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion.
A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion.
The husband holds his wife’s hand and says “I know I haven’t been the best husband, but I need you to know I love you, and something serious is going to happen.”
The wife curiously asks “what’s going to happen?”
The husband starts to cry and says “I’m going to die, the doctor has given me 4 months to live.”
The wife laughs and slaps her husband’s hand and says “you’re going to be just fine” then stands up and walks away.
The husband stays sitting there, heartbroken and confused.
4 months pass by and the doctor says the man is in great health and is amazed at how well he is doing. During the appointment, the doctor looks over to the wife and says “it’s an absolute miracle! Your husband is going to live a long full life, he told me you were acting normal as usual and weren’t distraught in the slightest. Tell me, did you know this was going to happen?The wife then nods and says “that bastard doesn’t do anything he says he’s going to.”
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Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time.
He even turned Vladimir Putin into a joke.
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Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes…
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians
Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have balls of steel. Even women.
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They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be…
They say size doesn’t matter
But imagine how many lives would be saved if putin had normal size dick.