If I put self raising flour on it…
Does that mean I still have to pay child support?
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
I hit a new high today, but my wife tells me that it’s actually the lowest I’ve ever been.
Turns out substance abuse isn’t a joke.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm
”two beers, ” he says ”one for me, and one for the road.”
What’s the difference between choking fetish and necrophilia?
About 15 seconds
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.
While he was there, a stunning young blonde came out of the apartment and walked down to the mailboxes, wearing only a bathrobe.The young man… Read More »A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask him politely.
I punched a woman in the tit once
She had no mammary of the event.
I confronted my Gardner about him masterbating in my garden…
Instead of giving me a straight answer he started beating around the bush.
A rather bad man dies and meets Satan…
A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, “I have good news and bad news. The bad… Read More »A rather bad man dies and meets Satan…
Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I immediately throw half of them in the trash.
I don’t want unlucky people working in our department.
Trump: Hey Siri how many miles did I ran today?
Siri: Ok, Sending missiles to Iran today.
The Mature Lady
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?Traffic Cop: Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding.Older Woman: Oh,… Read More »The Mature Lady
Nobody knew who the Iranian general was a few days ago…
He just kinda blew up
I made a quick drawing of a dark alleyway yesterday.
It’s a very sketchy place.
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said: “Jesus knows you’re here.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head… Read More »A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said: “Jesus knows you’re here.”
Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?
All the DNA matches and there’s no dental records.
A Mexican Magician…
…told his audience he’d disappear on the count of three.He began counting “Uno, dos…”And he disappeared without a tres.
Commas can really change the meaning in a sentence.
For example: Ben is in a hurry. Vs Ben is in a coma
Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?
Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.
A Roman walks into a bar, Holds up 2 fingers, and says
“5 beers please”
A man dies and he’s able to be in heaven and in hell for 1 day so he could choose which he likes best.
And heaven was boring as fuck and hell was a 24/7 hookers and blow non stop party. So the next day he goes back to… Read More »A man dies and he’s able to be in heaven and in hell for 1 day so he could choose which he likes best.
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn’t stop pointing out random exits and entrances
I said: “There’s the door”
I got kicked in the nuts at Midnight on New Years.
I started the year off on the highest note possible.
DIVORCE
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and… Read More »DIVORCE
This Soleimani dude has become pretty famous lately…
It’s as if he just blew up overnight.
A farmer asks his wife to tell something that makes him both happy and sad.
His wife replies: You have the biggest dick in the whole village.
What do you call a black man flying a plane
A pilot, you racist bastards
I had some good news today; a TV Station have commissioned my new show about what goes on inside a cockpit.
We’re filming the pilot next week.
Where do sick ducks go?
To a quack doctor.
Trumps so good at making jobs
He even opened some up in Iran!