By Jimmy Carr
Russians are sending peacekeepers into Ukraine. They’re saying, ” You see this piece of land? We’re keeping it.”
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked…
A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked How’s your book? Interesting read? She replied: well, the only way I… Read More »A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked…
I decided to donate my body to science For the time being, I’m…
I decided to donate my body to science For the time being, I’m following a routine to preserve it with ethanol until they need it.
I’m going to hire a private investigator to find out what I do…
I’m going to hire a private investigator to find out what I do all day 🧐
What do you call when a brothel offers a discount?
What do you call when a brothel offers a discount? Hole-sale
I’m currently in a love triangle I like this girl, this girl…
I’m currently in a love triangle I like this girl, this girl likes nobody, and nobody likes me.
I’m beginning to think that when you call customer service…
I’m beginning to think that when you call customer service there’s never a time when they aren’t “experiencing higher than normal call volumes”
Switching my wife’s life support machine off was very difficult.
Switching my wife’s life support machine off was very difficult. You try and fight off two doctors, a nurse and a security guard.
Woke up with a massive hardon this morning .
Woke up with a massive hardon this morning . Pissed it away !
Miracle
Guys I need your help desperately. I’m in the middle of a huge argument with my wife and she just told me I’m right !!!… Read More »Miracle
For our holiday I told my wife I had booked a trip around the…
For our holiday I told my wife I had booked a trip around the world “Can’t we go somewhere else ” she said
– I’m your secret admirer. – Why is it secret?
– I’m your secret admirer. – Why is it secret? – My wife doesn’t have to find out.
I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids,…
I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids, but they could not help me. It is necessary to wait normally for a… Read More »I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids,…
To the genius who invented one ply toilet paper…
To the genius who invented one ply toilet paper… I’d like to shake your hand.
WARNING!
WARNING! Alec Baldwin has arrived in the UK and due to start shooting soon.
My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for…
My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for large groups, and anyone who gets it is pretty sick.
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just…
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just likes my company.
Income tax..
Income tax.. The fine you pay for being a productive part of society. Welfare.. The reward you get for being an unproductive leech on society.
They fired me from my job because I’m too insecure.
They fired me from my job because I’m too insecure. Never mind, the mail server was down for a while.
at least one of them
An old man was attending his wife’s funeral. The preacher walked up to him and said, “May she rest in peace.” The man replied, “I… Read More »at least one of them
Self employed
How is sex like applying for a job Everybody wants experience but you can’t get experience unless you already have experience
Dog years
A thirty year old man goes to a psychiatrist… Psychiatrist: How long have you been married? Man: 42 years. Psychiatrist: How is that even possible?… Read More »Dog years
Peace
Joe Biden called a press conference, to discuss his meeting with Vladimir Putin… “The good news, is that Mr Putin told me that he wants… Read More »Peace
Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my…
Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my wife I replied : “Lets have sex then because there are horny men…. basically… Read More »Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my…
My wife bites her lip to look sexy……….
My wife bites her lip to look sexy………. I just don’t have the heart to tell her you’re meant to bite the bottom lip.
My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a…
My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a weatherman I forecast 6+ inches lasting for a couple of hours. It… Read More »My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a…
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete? Because she wanted to see the task manager
Once you start buying cheap brakes…..
Once you start buying cheap brakes….. You won’t be able to stop
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it…
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE… Read More »We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it…
a new drink at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a glass of “Less.” “Less?” I’ve never heard of it,” the bartender… Read More »a new drink at the bar