The day my wife died, I felt the worst pain I ever felt in my entire life. I somehow shot myself in the eye when I popped the champagne cork.
Category: Fun jokes
@MO
A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me all your money and I’ll let you live. The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh! You must be what they call doctor.”
@Rob
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden, when you order it the person behind you has to pay for it..
Sexcurity camera
I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting He said this is his home security camera
@Mrs
October is eczema awareness month. I’m raising money…. by selling scratch cards
@LM
Nectarines were grown by people who got tired of shaving peaches.
@muratzel
Marx said that “Religion is the opium of the masses” suggesting that the people need better drugs.
@Futuramoist
Studies show non-smokers have an increased risk of dying of old age
@Remote_
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute? There’s a difference?
@ChrisNewton
My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween party whether you like it or not. So you better decide what you’re going to be. I said Fucking pissed.