People say I mangle metaphors, but you can’t make an omelet…
People say I mangle metaphors, but you can’t make an omelet without beating a few dead horses.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
During the upcoming birth of Maria Sharapova, the staff of the…
During the upcoming birth of Maria Sharapova, the staff of the maternity hospital runs the risk of becoming deaf.
Russia’s only high-precision weapon is a television.
Russia’s only high-precision weapon is a television. It affects the brain, even if it is not …
Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.
My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked….
My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked. “Hot and sweaty?” “No,” she replied. “Only a few members use it… Read More »My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked….
When a sex worker gives you a discount, you’re getting a…
When a sex worker gives you a discount, you’re getting a holesale price.
Why are women and salads opposites?
why are women and salads opposites? You dress a salad right before you eat it
Tolstoy’s great-grandson and Dostoevsky’s…
Tolstoy’s great-grandson and Dostoevsky’s great-great-granddaughter began working together on a sequel to their great ancestors called “War, Peace and Idiot.”
“Dad, if we kill all the bad people, will there be any good ones…
“Dad, if we kill all the bad people, will there be any good ones left?” – No, son, there will be only killers.
– TASS (Russian news agency) is authorized to state that the…
– TASS (Russian news agency) is authorized to state that the cruiser “Moscow” is participating in a special underwater operation!
Why are virgins so chill?
Why are virgins so chill? Zero fucks given.
The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon.
The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon. The bride’s mother asks the groom: Did you enjoy “the whole thing”? The groom answers: Yes, I… Read More »The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon.
I walked up to a fit girl at a bar the other night and said,
“Hey gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?” She said, “Do you like sex?” I said, “Of course I like sex.” She said, “Do you… Read More »I walked up to a fit girl at a bar the other night and said,
I went to a strip club at lunchtime today but it wasn’t open.
I went to a strip club at lunchtime today but it wasn’t open. The sign on the door said, “Sorry, we’re clothed!”.. ?
Her: Our sex life has really improved Therapist: Why do you…
Her: Our sex life has really improved Therapist: Why do you think that is? Her: I’ve learnt how to appreciate the small things in life
fuhgdat1019
Being a college student is hard. Every day, you have to clear up your schedule and make time to sit down and focus, find the… Read More »fuhgdat1019
I still wear a mask… because I no longer remember how to…
I still wear a mask… because I no longer remember how to control my facial expressions in public ?
Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited…
Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited version ? **** ***** *********** *** **** *** ****** *** * ****… Read More »Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited…
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday I got her a dress 2 sizes smaller with a note “I’m… Read More »So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol “Z”?
Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol “Z”? Because the other half of the swastika fell off due to poor Russian maintenance.
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife…
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife… I love my house too much.
When love fades…
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s lovely voice from the kitchen. “What would you like for… Read More »When love fades…
A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion.
A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion. The husband holds his wife’s hand and says “I know I haven’t been the best… Read More »A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time. He even turned Vladimir Putin into a joke.
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes…
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is… Read More »Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes…
They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be…
They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be saved if putin had normal size dick.
What’s the difference between Putin and Hitler?
What’s the difference between Putin and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself
When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a very…
When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a very large butt plug….. that way, I can continue to be… Read More »When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a very…
I keep hearing about a chip shortage, so I’m stocking up on Doritos.
I keep hearing about a chip shortage, so I’m stocking up on Doritos.
In Soviet Russia troops withdraw forward
In Soviet Russia troops withdraw forward