Went to a Bush Lovers convention and found out that they were…
went to a Bush Lovers convention and found out that they were talking about the band
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
OK, Google?
Google Maps should really think about adding a “Closest place to have a piss” option.
What is a socialist’s favourite hotel?
What is a socialist’s favourite hotel? Sheraton (Share a ton)
won`t be able
A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw an elderly man walking past. She hasn’t had a customer in a while, so… Read More »won`t be able
good news
Putin went to see his most trusted advisor, who happened to be his personal physician. The doctor said, “I have good news and bad news.… Read More »good news
Sit in the corner and lick your eyebrows
How to make lesbians like you? Don’t be a dick.
Too high
An elderly man went in to see his doctor. The doctor asked “What brings you in today?” The elderly man responds “My sex life is… Read More »Too high
One thing my dad told me, he said, “Son, never explain yourself…
One thing my dad told me, he said, “Son, never explain yourself to anyone.” He never did tell me why.
Only 5 reasons
Women get mad for 5 reasons: 1.) For everything. 2.) For nothing. 3.) Because yes. 4.) Because no. 5.) Just in case.
My wife and I started role playing in the bedroom.
My wife and I started role playing in the bedroom. Her favourite is, “Sexy Librarian”, where I have to sit quietly while she reads a… Read More »My wife and I started role playing in the bedroom.
Want to sexually frustrate an IT worker?
Want to sexually frustrate an IT worker? Have you tried turning them off, then on again?
THAT’S what you guys call missionary?
Weird. Missionary’s what I call it when I don’t let him come inside.
Only two beers
Two friends, dead drunk, are on their way home, one says to the other, go up to my house for the last drink… They enter… Read More »Only two beers
No red ink
Two brothers want to find out if Soviet Russia is really like the propaganda they hear in the West. They decide that the older brother… Read More »No red ink
Intelligence
Stephen Colbert: “Are you afraid of artificial intelligence taking over?” Ricky Gervais: “I’d love for any intelligence to take over.”
Someone asked me if I could have dinner with any world leader,…
Someone asked me if I could have dinner with any world leader, living or dead, who would it be? I said, “Vladimir Putin… dead.”
Lists
My wife thought it would be fun if we each have a list of 3 people that would be OK to sleep with if given… Read More »Lists
Good idea
My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.” “Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that… Read More »Good idea
What’s the opposite of an Aphrodisiac?
What’s the opposite of an Aphrodisiac? Wedding cake
Painful
Pulled out a couple of nose hairs to see if it hurts. Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the… Read More »Painful
kill all the jokes
Three Russian generals walk into a bar. No wait, two Russian generals walk into a bar. ….one? Zero? Ukrainian bartender: “Fucking snipers, they kill all… Read More »kill all the jokes
cheap flights
The girlfriend asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said “looking for cheap flights.”She got very excited and said “I love you,”… Read More »cheap flights
tulips
my girlfriend says her pussy’s like a rose But I think it looks more like tulips
“Have you ever taken it in the other hole?” “No way, that would…
“Have you ever taken it in the other hole?” “No way, that would get me pregnant!”
My wife and I split up because of Psychological reasons….
My wife and I split up because of Psychological reasons…. She was Psycho, and I was Logical
How do you call the mouth of a smoker?
How do you call the mouth of a smoker? the exhaust pipe
I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations.
I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations. She said “Carl, I.. can’t see you anymore”… That was weird. I was… Read More »I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations.
Grey hair is hereditary.
Grey hair is hereditary. You get it from your children.
ratings
Movie ratings are an indication of who gets the girl Rated G – the prince gets the girl. Rated PG – the hero gets the… Read More »ratings
You shouldn’t take my class on reverse psychology
you shouldn’t take my class on reverse psychology