solved
When my wife picks a restaurant that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”.Problem solved.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
difference
how guys propose: on one knee. How girls propose: “I’m pregnant!!”
step out
“Can I have a double shot of fireball please?” I slurred. “Dont you think you’ve had enough, ma’am?” “Excuse me!? Listen asshole, I could out-drink… Read More »step out
it’s me
I hate when I go to uninstall some program, and then they want me to fill out a survey telling them why. Like I just… Read More »it’s me
my turn
I told my wife to spin the globe, put her finger on it and wherever it lands that will be the holiday destination. ”Ooooo!” she… Read More »my turn
I had the awkward moment the other day, where my dad decided to…
I had the awkward moment the other day, where my dad decided to come up to me, and said “Son, we need to talk.” Now when he said this, I thought, oh great, here comes the sex talk.
Read More »I had the awkward moment the other day, where my dad decided to…
survey
In a new survey, 60% of women admitted to using sex as a way of controlling their relationships. The other 40% were blatant liars…
reminder
Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day when she said, “Remember, you have a wife.”
strange country
Girls are like internet domain names. All the good ones are already taken, so I’m probably going to have to settle for one from a… Read More »strange country
difference
Why is it when you are dead and a zombie you can rip open a mans rib cage but when you’re alive you struggle with… Read More »difference
fired
One day a man returns home to his wife telling her that he was fired from his job at a deli mart. His wife asked why and he said, “after all the years I have worked there, I have always wanted to stick my penis into the meat grinder, and today was the day I completely lost my patience and finaly stuck it in there.
Read More »fired
rules
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
regret
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my girlfriends bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I’d never put it on now
confusing
I need to delete some of my fake dating profiles. It’s gotten so confusing I just met myself at Starbucks.
unbelievable
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
complimentary
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says… Read More »complimentary
Great
You know the sex was great when your room looks like a scene from ghostbusters. Stuff thrown everywhere, and covered in slime.
asking
Got stopped by a policeman today. “Any idea how fast you were going back there?” He said “I’ll ask the questions”
advice
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
rates
How Girls Rate Guys: (Looks + money + humor + intelligence) So if you score a 0 on looks and humor, but have a 1… Read More »rates
another version
What if humans came from Mars? Some catastrophe happened and they needed to leave so “Noah’s Ark” was built as a space ship instead of… Read More »another version
prank
There is nothing funnier than yelling, “SHE’S STEALING MY CHILD!” and pointing at a woman who’s having trouble with her kid in public.
work out
I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio.
one, two..
Summer vacations: where you drink triple, see double and act single.
I start every Monday morning with a simple affirmation: I will…
I start every Monday morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
Me when I was little: “F is for friends who do stuff together, U…
Me when I was little: “F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me.” Mom: What are you spelling? Me:… Read More »Me when I was little: “F is for friends who do stuff together, U…
bankruptcy
I have $.27 in my account…that means I have more money than the whole city of Detroit!
dictionary
The Hawaiian word for “lava”: “aa”, is remarkably similar to the word for “lava” used in the village of Pompeii: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”
randevu
“Be very silent, i dont want my parents to know. They will kill me if they know I’m doing this, especially with you,” I whisper… Read More »randevu
cleaning
The only thing that men are good at cleaning are the Browser History.