viagra
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
no addiction
After beating my gambling addiction for the last 8 months, I’ve decided to treat myself to a vacation with the money I’ve saved. Las Vegas… Read More »no addiction
like dog
WHAT IS IT BOY!!?? DID YOU SEE SOMETHING??? -Me talking to my penis when I get a random boner.
point
Why do people point at their wrist when they ask what time it is? I don’t point to my crotch when I ask where the… Read More »point
I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations…
I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations…
not using
Dear MTV, I was wondering if I could get my “M” back…. you know, since you’re not using it. Sincerely, -usic
lawyer
*Me as a lawyer* “Guiltypersonsayswhat?” “what?” “Your honor, I rest my case.”
transformation
Relationships are weird. “you’re funny and smart” eventually turns to “you think you know everything and everything is a joke to you”.
early
The people who complain about Mondays must not start drinking early enough.
surprise lunch
Put in an official complaint at work the other day after finding someone had shit in my lunchbox, and they immediately launched an investigation. Turned… Read More »surprise lunch
I just called in sick because I have a cold…. case if beer in…
I just called in sick because I have a cold…. case if beer in my fridge.
He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when your awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good… Sounds like Santas got Facebook
BBQ rules
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity… Read More »BBQ rules
Girl: ok, you hang up. boy: no,you hang up girl: oh LOL, you…
girl: ok, you hang up. boy: no,you hang up girl: oh LOL, you hang up. President Obama: ” Aww both of you hang up.
compare
Whenever somebody says that something is “better than sex”, I always think “better than sex with you maybe”.
You can drown in 2 inches of water.
You can drown in 2 inches of water. I’m not stating facts, but I’m making suggestions.
not enough
Excuse me waiter, I’d like to return my food. It only received 10 likes on Instagram.
search history
When I die I want my internet search history to be read out at my funeral. That way all my friends and family will go… Read More »search history
no chance
Teacher: “don’t get smart with me.” Student: “with you teaching there is no chance of that.”
unexpected guests
“This is the police open up!” “NO!” “Why not?” “It’s really messy in here and I wasn’t expecting guests.”
bad example
My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved with drugs… A Porsche and his own house by the… Read More »bad example
I walked into an explosive shop the other day and wanted to buy…
I walked into an explosive shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went horribly wrong when… Read More »I walked into an explosive shop the other day and wanted to buy…
from the second
I knew my psychic was full of shit from the second she accepted my check.
scheme
I went to great effort to kill my wife recently, with a completely untraceable poison obtained from a plant that grows for just two weeks on the eastern side of a Peruvian mountain.Read More »scheme
present
Wife:”Don’t open that wardrobe! your birthday present is in there!” Me:*opening the door*”Too late…this is the stupidest present ever!” Me: “Why the fuck would I… Read More »present
master
My wife cames home to find me watching the football game…. Wife: “you turn that game off and go and do the dishes!! Me: *throwing… Read More »master
weird
As my teenage neighbour put her jumper back on, I looked at her and said, “Please don’t tell anyone about this, they’d think I’m a fucking weirdo”
Read More »weird
no way
A male whale and his mate were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance.
He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many years ago. So, he turns to his girlfriend and tells her that he wants to avenge the death of his parents.
Read More »no way
translation
I’m pretty sure Jägermeister translates to “I didn’t want to be productive tomorrow anyway”.
true love
If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow.