are you done
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table “are you done with that?” Especially when he’s breaking up with his girlfriend.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
fruit
I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I’m having wine for dinner.
Guy: Please don’t tell my girlfriend that we had sex.
Guy: Please don’t tell my girlfriend that we had sex. Girl: I won’t, my lips are sealed. Guy: LIAR!
fence
The range of the Wi-Fi signal is MY electric fence.
guards
Anyone else find it ironic how professional boxers need security guards to walk them to the ring?
true love
True love is waking up in the middle of the night just to watch your laptop while it sleeps.
no guess
The wife rang me earlier and said: “You’ll never guess who I saw today.” “There’s not much incentive to try then” I said as I… Read More »no guess
recording
Why do married Indian women have that red dot on their forehead? they’re recording everything!
“Hey, Jesus.
“Hey, Jesus. At what time are we having the last supper?” “‘Last’?” “Supper. I mean just supper. Hehehe…” “You’re weird, Judas.
great Wall
My son has a huge wall of toys in his room. I call it the Great Wall Of Made In China.
experience
Over the years I’ve learned that everyone has to pay for their own mistakes. Except for the government. We have to pay for theirs too.
don’t ask
If you have to ask a woman if she came, she didn’t.
Ghepetto walked in on his son Pinnochio, and nearly died of a…
Ghepetto walked in on his son Pinnochio, and nearly died of a heart attack when he saw his son.. Lying under the bed sheets with… Read More »Ghepetto walked in on his son Pinnochio, and nearly died of a…
solver
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem Solver.
To those who say love is more important than money…
To those who say love is more important than money… Have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
In hell, everyone can see your Google search history.
In hell, everyone can see your Google search history.
almost cooking
The recipe might be easy, but a reservation is easier.
to do
The Pink Panther’s To Do list: – To do – To do – To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo
not miracle
“MOM I HAVE GOOD NEWS! “What? Did you get an A on your math exam?” “I said I have good news, not a miracle.”
exotic stare
Vacations are a great way to spend thousands of dollars to stare at your phone in exotic locations.
ACTUAL ORIGINAL JOKE:
A kid and his father were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to… Read More »ACTUAL ORIGINAL JOKE:
prefer
Actually officer, I prefer to think scotch smells like me.
camouflage
What if aliens designed their spaceships to look like airplanes?
send by vde
It took 4 days to create the Earth and only 1 day to create every other galaxy (Bible calls them stars). That is why there… Read More »send by vde
too serious
I was in a serious relationship once. We never even smiled.
if you know what i mean
I’ve been called sugar, pumpkin, honey, cupcake, sweets…all kinds of damn food. I’m a girl, dammit. Eat me.
they want…
“Siri, what do women want?” She hasn’t shut up in 3 days.
Friday night
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again…
anything
They told me I could be anything, so I became a submarine. – Titanic
example
My son asked me what was like to be married… So I deleted all the songs on his ipod and left only one.. that should… Read More »example