Not husband
Wife:dear,this computer is not working as per my command. Husband:its a computer not a husband……!!!
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
Or…
Man: You look pretty today. Woman: Did I look bad yesterday? It was my hair wasn’t it? You think I’m fat.
So far
I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday but then Friday is so close to monday.
More than..
I’m going to a gay bar tonight. I’m not gay. I just wanna be in a bar where I can boast that I have fucked… Read More »More than..
Have fun
Having sex without taking your clothes off is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.
Regret
Do I regret is? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably. – A summary of most of my decisions.
As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was…
As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was allowed a final minute with my wife. I said “Listen Susan,… Read More »As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was…
Whilst travelling to work on the train this morning I noticed…
Whilst travelling to work on the train this morning I noticed this really fit bird that I couldn’t take my eyes off. She saw me… Read More »Whilst travelling to work on the train this morning I noticed…
Morse code
If I ever get a chance to appear on daytime TV, I’m going to say: Cunt, cunt, fuuuuck, shit!! Cock, fuck, cuuuunt!! Shiiitt, fuck, shiiitt,… Read More »Morse code
Lost appetite
The wife just told me that if I’m a good boy and eat all my dinner, she’s going to take me upstairs and fuck my… Read More »Lost appetite
Following
According to the bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10. Anyone think that we could be following the wrong guy?
a boy
A note to all the strippers out there. Bambi was a boy.
We’ll see
” how old are you?” I asked my husband’s mistress. ” 20, I will be 21 in a few days!” ” Yeah we’ll see ”… Read More »We’ll see
First Lady on the Moon
Lady: Houston! We have a problem! NASA: What’s the problem Captain? Lady: Never mind. It’s nothing. NASA: I repeat, what’s the problem? Lady: Nothing everything… Read More »First Lady on the Moon
I’ve just seen a massive rat in Pizza Hut.
I’ve just seen a massive rat in Pizza Hut. He was picking up an order for the Ninja Turtles.
not bad
I’m not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?
Reasons
Some people won’t try bacon for religious reasons I won’t try religion for bacon reasons
Where is the boss
Last year everyone made a huge deal about The Pope resigning. To be honest I don’t blame him. I’d leave my job too if my… Read More »Where is the boss
Last year I joined a support for antisocial people, We haven’t…
last year I joined a support for antisocial people, We haven’t met yet.
Delicious
She was amazing, so firm, so beautiful. Her legs were long and perfectly formed, her breasts were so full and juicy. I laid her down,… Read More »Delicious
Difference
When men drink, they talk too much, drive badly, and pick fights for no reason. Women do all of these things while sober.
Mysterious
When people ask me what my best qualities are, I always tell them my second best quality is being mysterious.
Backup
Multiple personalities……because you never know when you’ll need backup.
Cloning
I just caught my son playing with himself. Looks like my cloning experiment was a success…
Legal
marijuana is only legal if you’re sick. so it’s ill-legal
Friends
If I can’t buy you the perfect birthday present at the liquor store… We probably can’t be friends.
After watching my son play Grand Theft Auto V, he certainly…
After watching my son play Grand Theft Auto V, he certainly won’t be driving my car anytime soon.
Water
Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples. “Thirteen glasses of water, please,” Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others.
Use the..
Luke Skywalker and I went for Chinese. After many failed attempts by Luke to use the chopsticks, I was like, Luke, USE THE FORKS!!
Reminder
Just a reminder that mammogramming is more important than instagramming your boobs. Awareness month c: