Quotes
‘Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life.” – Shakespear “Laughing At your Wife’s Mistakes, can SHORTEN your Life….” – Shakespear’s Wife
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
Difference
Before marriage you realize the importance of sex. …. After marriage you realize the importance of masturbation
Remember
life is not a fairy tale. if you lose a shoe at midnight, you are drunk.
Tricked
You said they were laughing with me… -well played tequila….well played 😒
50% of marriages fail… if you were going skydiving and they…
50% of marriages fail… if you were going skydiving and they told you only 50% of the parachutes opened… would you still fucking jump
Not alone
FAVORITE SEX POSITION: Really doesn’t matter as long as I’m not by myself!!!
Leading
A recent study shows that the leading cause of pregnancy in Ireland …. Is Guinness!
Forever
“We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives,” smiled my girlfriend as we flew out to our dream holiday in Hawaii. “You… Read More »Forever
“I bet you your car, house, savings, and dignity that you can’t…
“I bet you your car, house, savings, and dignity that you can’t make me happy for the rest of my life.” -Women
Dinners
My psychologist: Mhmm. Been drinking heavier than usual? Me: Mmm. Uhh. No, not really. Just the occasional glass of wine with dinner. My psychologist: Uh… Read More »Dinners
to be sure
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is… Read More »to be sure
Olympic
girl- Harder! Deeper!! Faster!!! me- Wetter! Tighter!! Younger!!!
Who decided
If her bra and panties match when you take off her clothes, it wasn’t you who decided to have sex.
Familiar
If someone says “You look familiar,” just ask “Were we in prison together?” That will stop any further conversation… You’re welcome…
I told you
Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: cause you wanted to see how tall I am? Cop: step out of the car, sir.… Read More »I told you
Trick
I can’t believe I actually tricked a woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was buy her a ring and live with… Read More »Trick
Difference
What’s the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians
Time machine
I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
If you ask Vanilla Ice’s mother about his childhood…..
If you ask Vanilla Ice’s mother about his childhood….. She’ll tell you that he was a nice, nice baby.
No mercy
When a woman is mad for whatever reason at a man and she remains quiet for long periods of time, beware that she is simply… Read More »No mercy
French
When I was a toddler, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” just after a swear word. I’ll never forget the first day at… Read More »French
From her
My wife wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache… I must have caught it from her last night when we didn’t have… Read More »From her
Laughing
ME: I had a wet dream about you last night.. HIM: ooh what was it, do tell ME: you got hit by a train, so… Read More »Laughing
Explaining
Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that’s where i… Read More »Explaining
Terms
The bible is the longest set of Terms and Conditions ever. So many people agree with it without knowing why.
Nonsense
The Spice Girls showed us that women even when given the opportunity to tell us exactly what they want, what they really really want, will… Read More »Nonsense
Change
I have a confession to make, years ago I had a sex change, I went from having a lot of sex to having none… it… Read More »Change
“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is…
“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job,” said my 35… Read More »“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is…
Warning
Be wary if your girlfriend has a ‘”special romantic night” planned. You’ll burn yourself on at least one of the 30 odd fucking candles and… Read More »Warning
Average
A recent test showed that the average man burns off 125 calories after having sex for an hour… If he was having sex for an… Read More »Average