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Fun jokes

Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.

Preferences

It’s funny how most men prefer specific fats on a woman’s body, while most women prefer specific muscles on a male body.

You’re not

“I’m going to pay for this in the morning,” I slurred after downing a bottle of whiskey. “No you’re not,” said the shop keeper.

Not gently

I went to see a nurse about my concerns my penis is too small. “There’s absolutely nothing there to worry about” She said Fucking bitch,… Read More »Not gently

Stoner thoughts:

Strippers are just married prostitutes. Think about it, they’ll tease you all daym but they’ll NEVER sleep with you.

Complaints

Being a man is far worse than being a women. Yeh, women get periods, pregnancy and mood swings. But, men have to marry them.

Irony

Isn’t it funny, you stop drinking cause you want to settle down and have kids. Then you have the little fuckers and all you want… Read More »Irony

Story

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their “arguments” were very common.Read More »Story

No replace

When asked if online comics would replace actual comic books, Stan Lee said, “Comic books are like boobs. They look great on a computer, but… Read More »No replace

Explain

It would be difficult to explain a fountain to someone from the 3rd world. “This is our water showing off contraption… we also throw our… Read More »Explain

Best joke

The postman told me he’s off to Spain tomorrow so I asked if he was going to Parcelona and he ignored what I believe to… Read More »Best joke

Finger

Me: “Hey babe, I’m at the hospital, I cut off my finger.” Wife: “Oh no, the whole finger?”  Me:”No, no…the one next to it.” 

Direction

I went in a CD store and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records. “Walk this way,” he replied.

Difference

“I’ve got a boyfriend,” is a woman’s’s way of saying fuck off and leave me alone. “I’ve got a girlfriend,” is a man’s way of… Read More »Difference

Complaint

When I die, I’m not going to Heaven or Hell, I’m going to the Complaint Department.

In a row

My mom caught me masturbating when I was 14. My dad caught me smoking when I was 16 and he made me smoke 20 in… Read More »In a row

Not looking

A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because… Read More »Not looking

Irony

She believes in honesty and wears a padded bra.

Alive?

I didn’t have alcohol for a week and got a text from my Liver, “Hey there! You still alive?”

Nominated

Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as “man surprised his credit card was declined”

Own hands

My girlfriend broke up with me. I guess it’s time to take things in my own hands now.

Negotiate

The kidnapper rang and said to me, “€10,000 and you get your wife back.” “Negotiate with him!” advised the policeman. “€20,000 and she’s all yours.”… Read More »Negotiate

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