I SCROLLED TO THE END OF REDDIT OMG
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thefun
A good joke is like sex
Very hard to get
I always say “mucho” to my Spanish friends
Because I know it means a lot to them
I don’t always have sex while I’m camping
But when I do it’s fucking in tents!
What happens if a cow drinks her own milk?
It goes in one end and out the udder.
A refreshing snack for the holidays?
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A man mumbled to his friend, sitting at the bar,”My girl,Mary, is going to die of syphilis.”…
“No,”the friend said,”people don’t die of syphilis anymore.”They do when they give it to me!”came the response.
Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.
I’ve got nothing to hide.
I’ve never been able to have cereal for breakfast ever since a traumatic childhood experience.
I walked in on my parents having Chex.
Swan dive
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This was almost painful.
Me: “I have a joke for you,”Friend: “Ok shoot.”Me: “Well if you say so!”-Friend gets shot-
Wanna know why in soccer they don’t use green cards?
Because all the Mexicans would be running to the field
What do you call a mexican on a trampoline?
A jumping bean.
Driving the Kids to School
Son: “Dad, what’s and alcoholic?”Dad: “Son, do you see those 4 cars ahead of us? An alcoholic would see 8.”Son: But, dad there’s only 2.”
A Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red looked out his window.
He turns to his wife and says, Bring the little ones inside, it looks like its going to be a wet day. His wife says… Read More »A Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red looked out his window.
Feeling amorous after a difficult day…
…the President hops into bed next to the first lady.She immediately lets out a shriek. “Christ!!! Your feet are cold!!!”He chuckles and replies “That’s OK… Read More »Feeling amorous after a difficult day…
After sending me a “free” Pixel 3aXL, Visible wrote to me asking to return my dead phone.
Wonder how’ll they’ll feel when I tell them my old phone is in a recycle bin somewhere. Should they have mentioned that they’d be wanting… Read More »After sending me a “free” Pixel 3aXL, Visible wrote to me asking to return my dead phone.
VPNs are like Condoms
One leak and you could end up sentenced to at least 18 years.
What did Donald Trump say to the guy who kept calling him an Orange?
I’m not an Orange.. Impeach.
So when a girl tells her friend she has a great ass in that jeans it’s okay,
But when I tell my buddy the same thing I am ‘being inappropriate’ and I ‘should really close the coffin now’. The world we live… Read More »So when a girl tells her friend she has a great ass in that jeans it’s okay,
A boy asks his dad one day, “Dad, what’s the difference between confident and confidential?”
His dad replies, “Well, you’re my son – I’m confident about that. And your best friend Jimmy is also my son – that’s confidential.”
My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!”
I thought that was a really odd way to start a conversation with me.
– Please describe yourself with 10 words.
I am sorry, but I do not understand the question.
I’m really worried about going to San Diego, Long Beach, Anaheim, and Los Angeles
I think I have SoCal anxiety.
Uga Buga or Death?
Three men who travelled to explore Africa got kidnapped by a large African tribe. The kidnappers locked the three man in small cages and left… Read More »Uga Buga or Death?
My brother was playing on his Nintendo Switch…
When my mother walked into the the room and said:Oh you playing on your SD…I’m so proud of her… she’s now only two generations behind… Read More »My brother was playing on his Nintendo Switch…
A black man walked into a store with his friends
He grabbed some food and paid for it at the counter
I ran a cheese company
At the start, my company was doing very well, we made the most beautiful cheddars and perfect Parmesans. After a few years however, sales started… Read More »I ran a cheese company
What an amazing transformation by President trump…
Going from an Orange to an Impeach…I’ll be here all week
What console do frenchmen play on?
WiiYes, I know this is a dad joke.