What do you call a really good fisherman?
A master baiter
thefun
I’ve never been with two women at once
But I’ve been with many who’ve weighed as much as two women
r/Jokes is very good at fencing.
We are the best when it comew to ripostes.
So the other day I made a free website for an orphanage….
It didn’t have a home page
What is the most unexpected dance?
The coincidance.
I bought some new brake pads imported from Israel
My car can now stop on a dime
Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow
Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow during the dinner and got slapped upside the head by his father right away. But not… Read More »Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow
Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
Friend:Does it have your name on it?Me:Well no, but what about your mom? I Don’t see your name anywhere on her body last night.Is she… Read More »Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
What’s one thing Trump and Jesus have in common?
They both hung out with prostitutes
Someone left the zebras cage open in the middle of the night and he escaped and ran away to a local farm…
Early the next morning he approached an old hen saying,”What do you do around here?”The hen replied,”I lay eggs for the Farmers breakfast.”The zebra then… Read More »Someone left the zebras cage open in the middle of the night and he escaped and ran away to a local farm…
Whats the difference between you and a sick Mallard?
One’s a sick duck, the other’s a dick suck
Knock knock
The Potter Household. Who is there? You know! You know who? Thats right. avada kedavra
A drill sergeant took his platoon to a mine
They began training as usual, but as they got deeper into the mine, he began insulting them more personally than usual. Once they reached the… Read More »A drill sergeant took his platoon to a mine
Sphinx: What has four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night?
Me: A radioactive vietnamese soldier.EDIT: Sphinx: No no he’s got a point.
[QUESTION] Why is my Gretsch always out of tune?
It mostly happens when soloing. I’ll be playing for a matter of minutes, going from perfectly tuned to sounding awful (and no… it’s not my… Read More »[QUESTION] Why is my Gretsch always out of tune?
An actual conversation I heard today
Kid: so everyone in my family has brown eyes, but I have blue, why is that?Science teacher: oh, that’s what we call the “mailman theory”
Why do horse-girls like horses so much?
Because it’s the only stable relationship they’ll ever have!
I asked my wife if i was the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”.
I went to watch the new Jumanji movie today.
That was some next level stuff.
What did Hillary say today while sipping her tea?
Mmmm. Peach mint.
A group of teachers of different subjects have entered a contest to see who is the best…
…after battling each other in several one v one quiz rounds the Math teacher finds herself in the finale! She then turns to the other… Read More »A group of teachers of different subjects have entered a contest to see who is the best…
Hey is your dad in prison?
Cause if I was your dad I’d sure be in prison
The “ladies and gentlemen, we got em” meme is one of the best of the decade
Change my state of mind
Why do archaeologists always drink beer?
Their careers are in ruins!
Did you hear about the part-time chemist?
He only worked periodically
A farmer walk into a bar [LONG]
A farmer walks into a bar asks for a pint of beer. The bartender brings the man his beer, and walks away. As the farmer… Read More »A farmer walk into a bar [LONG]
Do you want to know why the republicans won’t impeach Trump?
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
Of course the Republican-led Senate won’t convict Trump.
They insist on carrying a baby to full term.
How to retire at the age of 18.
Get a job at a tire shop.
I took a lie detector test
When I said my second name the detector exploded.