I heard you father was run over by a boat in Venice.
My gondolences.
thefun
Just got my secret Santa gift, figured you’d like it
r/secretsanta•Posted byu/foreverstressedout3 hours agoJust got my gift. I love DCI and this is amazing! Thank you so much! 32 points1 comment
AdGuard no longer blocking Facebook Ads
Anybody found a way around this? About a week ago, Adblock quit working on Facebook. Even selecting and element only works on the one advert.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Nobody fucking cares
The people in Washington should have never impeached Trump.
Because now we know they’re actually capable of getting shit done.
What do you call a really good fisherman?
A master baiter
I’ve never been with two women at once
But I’ve been with many who’ve weighed as much as two women
r/Jokes is very good at fencing.
We are the best when it comew to ripostes.
So the other day I made a free website for an orphanage….
It didn’t have a home page
What is the most unexpected dance?
The coincidance.
I bought some new brake pads imported from Israel
My car can now stop on a dime
Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow
Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow during the dinner and got slapped upside the head by his father right away. But not… Read More »Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow
Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
Friend:Does it have your name on it?Me:Well no, but what about your mom? I Don’t see your name anywhere on her body last night.Is she… Read More »Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
What’s one thing Trump and Jesus have in common?
They both hung out with prostitutes
Someone left the zebras cage open in the middle of the night and he escaped and ran away to a local farm…
Early the next morning he approached an old hen saying,”What do you do around here?”The hen replied,”I lay eggs for the Farmers breakfast.”The zebra then… Read More »Someone left the zebras cage open in the middle of the night and he escaped and ran away to a local farm…
Whats the difference between you and a sick Mallard?
One’s a sick duck, the other’s a dick suck
Knock knock
The Potter Household. Who is there? You know! You know who? Thats right. avada kedavra
A drill sergeant took his platoon to a mine
They began training as usual, but as they got deeper into the mine, he began insulting them more personally than usual. Once they reached the… Read More »A drill sergeant took his platoon to a mine
Sphinx: What has four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night?
Me: A radioactive vietnamese soldier.EDIT: Sphinx: No no he’s got a point.
[QUESTION] Why is my Gretsch always out of tune?
It mostly happens when soloing. I’ll be playing for a matter of minutes, going from perfectly tuned to sounding awful (and no… it’s not my… Read More »[QUESTION] Why is my Gretsch always out of tune?
An actual conversation I heard today
Kid: so everyone in my family has brown eyes, but I have blue, why is that?Science teacher: oh, that’s what we call the “mailman theory”
Why do horse-girls like horses so much?
Because it’s the only stable relationship they’ll ever have!
I asked my wife if i was the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”.
I went to watch the new Jumanji movie today.
That was some next level stuff.
What did Hillary say today while sipping her tea?
Mmmm. Peach mint.
A group of teachers of different subjects have entered a contest to see who is the best…
…after battling each other in several one v one quiz rounds the Math teacher finds herself in the finale! She then turns to the other… Read More »A group of teachers of different subjects have entered a contest to see who is the best…
Hey is your dad in prison?
Cause if I was your dad I’d sure be in prison
The “ladies and gentlemen, we got em” meme is one of the best of the decade
Change my state of mind
Why do archaeologists always drink beer?
Their careers are in ruins!
Did you hear about the part-time chemist?
He only worked periodically