What’s the difference between a deaf republican and a blind democrat?
A: One of them is deaf The other is a democrat
thefun
Tuna Tornado
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What did Jesus do after school?
He went to his job.
A jockey was having a hard time bringing his talking horse to the race
“Do even want to go to the race” the jockey saidThe horse replied “Nay”
A rabbi a priest and an imam argue whose God is bigger
A rabbi a priest and an imam argue whose God is bigger.The imam says “mine is the biggest God and I’ll give you an example;… Read More »A rabbi a priest and an imam argue whose God is bigger
What’s meaner than a pitbull with AIDS?
The man who gave it to him. Via shared needles.
The Ninja Bug
Pretty minor horror story, which isn’t based around bad DMing, ooc drama, idiot actions, just really really bad luck.So, unusually, I am Co DMing here,… Read More »The Ninja Bug
I asked my local butcher if he had a sheep’s head?
He said “no it’s just the way I part my hair”
I wonder if old houseflies tell the younger ones stories like:
“Back in my day, it was Monday”.
Which subreddit is on top most of the time?
I don’t know. Why don’t you askreddit?
Girls always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they start calling me ugly and broke.
I’m a bartender
Guy: One Mojito pleaseMe: SureGuy: Can you make it virgin?Me (Holding back tears): Yes… yes I can
A waiter brings dinner to the table
The patron remarks, “Why is your thumb on my steak?””I didn’t want it to fall on the floor again!”
My ex is upset that I tell people she performs multiple handjobs every day for £5 a pop…
Apparently, the proper description for her job is “manicurist,”
I told all my friends to stand in a line and punch me…
There is no punchline.
Isn’t it so fucking cool that birds are dinosaurs?
Like you look at the history books and go back millions of years to the dinos. There are massive herbivores the size of buildings. There… Read More »Isn’t it so fucking cool that birds are dinosaurs?
JOKESTER
Relationships are a just like Game Of Thrones, without the Thrones
JOKESTER
It’s not true love if he doesn’t text you after his wife falls asleep
If China ever adopts blockchain, it will be the death of BTC.
It seems that BTC fans like to point at any blockchain-interest out the Chinese Government as being “good for Bitcoin”. This is so very wrong.While… Read More »If China ever adopts blockchain, it will be the death of BTC.
As a scientist, I finally reach the same achievement as Isaac Newton and Josiah Gibbs.
Being single and unmarried for whole life.
What did the TV say to the other TV?
Hisense, I’m dad.
She won’t admit it, but I’m sure my wife’s favorite sex position is “trick-dog style.”
It’s where I sit up and beg, then she rolls over and plays dead.
What did the monk say when he saw Jesus Christ’s face in his margarine?
“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”
A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she… Read More »A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
R/memes•Posted byu/JTLYSOH8 hours ago3How about no (and he…
r/memes•Posted byu/JTLYSOH8 hours ago3How about no (and he waddled away) 14.9k points59 comments
What did the gangsta say to the phone?
“Back up before i whoop yo ass!”
Recommendations for a noob philosopher?
I’m looking for some sources to help get me started in philosophy. I have mainly explored religious philosophy, a little bit of politics, and stoicism.… Read More »Recommendations for a noob philosopher?
What do you call a really persistent uncle?
A pain in the ass.
It was freezing that day and I prayed for snow at my wedding…
It never happened but I got 8 inches on my honey moon.
Why Did Santa Buy 3 Gardens?
So he can ho ho ho