A farmer walk into a bar [LONG]
A farmer walks into a bar asks for a pint of beer. The bartender brings the man his beer, and walks away. As the farmer… Read More »A farmer walk into a bar [LONG]
thefun
Do you want to know why the republicans won’t impeach Trump?
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
Of course the Republican-led Senate won’t convict Trump.
They insist on carrying a baby to full term.
How to retire at the age of 18.
Get a job at a tire shop.
I took a lie detector test
When I said my second name the detector exploded.
RIP Usain Bolt
Usain Bolt has been struck by lightning. It comes as a huge shock to not only himself, but also his family and friends!
Urainas
Theres a wall of planets in my school so every time we all past i shout YOUR ANUS IS ON THE WALL
Did you hear about the gay sewage worker?
He doesn’t mind a squirter.
Flat earthers used to think that the earth was round
But since then they’ve really ironed out their theory
A burglar stole all of my lamps.
I should be upset, But right now I’m delighted.
Two old Jews are walking past a church
A sign out front reads, “Convert to Catholicism, get $20.”The first Jew keeps walking, but soon notices his friend has stopped to take a closer… Read More »Two old Jews are walking past a church
Yo mama’s so fat
I took me all four fingers to swipe left in tinder.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand by itself?
It was two tired
Why don’t Americans switch from pounds to killograms all at once?
Because it will cause mass confusion
your slogan says “when you’re here, you’re family”
Olive Garden Waiter: Sir, I am not adding you to my will.
I thought of an appropriate parody: James and the giant impeachment.
Ain’t that just peachy.
Animated cartoon squirrels are metaphors for the best soulmates.
They’ll do anything for love, and go Hammy on your cookie or Scrat on your nut.
Just dropped a copy of “A Christmas Carol” on my toe.
It hurts like the Dickens!
Mon, people keep sayin’ dat President Trump is impeached.
I tink im oranged.
If the earth is flat…
Then how come my soda is still fizzy?
I ran a marathon for charity
It was for kids with asthma, i easily finsihed 1st.
Quasimodo needed a sub bell ringer…
Put an ad in the paper. No one showed up for weeks. Finally a knock on the door. Guy standing there with no arms. Quasi… Read More »Quasimodo needed a sub bell ringer…
Flour, salt, and butter go to a dance.
Butter sees flour and salt dancing in the corner.He walks over to them and asks, “can I cut in?”
I ain’t afraid of my wife!
But don’t tell her I said that.
Two guys are going out to get breakfast. One asks “wanna get a bagel sandwich?”
“A bagel sandwich? That’s way too much bread.”
I don’t have a girlfriend
But I know someone who would be angry if they heard me say that.
Tragically, my Korean friend passed away this morning.
He was So Yung.
What do you call a gay dog
A golden receiver
There is no problem with boys and girls having different school dress codes
I live in the UK, and there have been several recent cases where schoolboys have been allowed to wear skirts as part of their uniform,… Read More »There is no problem with boys and girls having different school dress codes