My English wife and I were arguing over the pronunciation of inventory
She: it’s INVENT-ryMe: no it’s inven-TORYShe: I ain’t having no Tories in my mouth.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
A bunch of toilets walk into a bar,
and then shit got wild
There are two types of people in this world
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
I once heard a terrible joke about Amazon
It was ruined by the delivery
My bud Ellis, perhaps, made me piss myself. Perhaps. Perhaps…
How do check if someone’s dead? Tickle the taint.
Why couldn’t the gay man date the line?
Because it’s a line. You can’t date a line. 🙂
A Diabetic Pimp
He’s pimping those hoes to keep his toes.-my brother
There is exactly one POC in the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.
They needed a tolkein black guy.
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That’s the best I’ve ever done.