No wonder reddit has a repost problem
I mean after all it is called read it.
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
There was a young man…
There was a young manFrom Cork who got limericksand haiku’s confused
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other one?
See you next period.
I was so close to winning lotto
I had all the right numbers but they were in the wrong order.
I went to the store and bought naked juice, then called my dad
“Dad, I got naked at the store!” I told him.“Son, your an idiot”
What did the shower say???
Every naked person turns me on!
Meteorologist
If you attacked a meteorologist with a lime green morph suit no one would realize what’s going on.
What do you call it when a chameleon can’t change colors?
Reptile dysfunction
The nice thing about working for yourself is that you only have to work half days
The best part is, you also get to choose which 12 hours that is.
How do you get over seasonal depression?
You just fall out of it
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a hooker with diarrhea?
One of them shucks between fits.
Judge: I order you to pay $10,000
Mario: why?Judge: it’s a fineMario: [sadly] no itsa not
I’m having trouble with my conjugations in Spanish class
Subi or not subi
How many Kurds does it take to change a light bulb?
None, we don’t have electricity.
What does a nihilist say before death?
Well here goes nothing
Looking back at all my mistakes next year will be easier….
Hindsight = 2020
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food is great, but there is no atmosphere.
Two peanuts walking down a dark alley..
One was assaulted.
How to get laid for free without the trouble of dating…
..Start working at the mortuary like me.
Every face tells a story
And mine is a horror story
Why couldn’t the man hear the psycho killer in the stall next to him?
The ‘p’ was silent
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Hey… do you smell carrots?
I had to break up with my girlfriend because she had something stuck between her teeth!
It was my best friend Dave.
How did the Lost survivors get back to the world
They had a Shepard
When you realise the labour party were winning the election on Thursday…
Until work finished at 5 and everyone voted conservative.
Congrats to Juice Wrld…
My man is one week sober.
I just did a public rant about how evil people who make up stories on the internet are.
When I was done, everyone clapped.
Why don’t roosters lay eggs?
They are too busy laying hens