We all know where the Big Apple is
But do we know where Minneapolis
One-Liners
More than 1,900 one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. If you want the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Remember when picking up women
It’s the thot that counts
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What did the melon say to his daughter when he caught her running off with her boyfriend?
You’re too young, you cantaloupe!
A few from my 8 year old sister…
Why does tigger smell?Because he’s been playing with poohWhich is the hairy side of a monkey?The outside
What did the inflatable principle say to the inflatable school pupil when he brought in a pin into his inflatable school?
You’ve let me down, you’ve let the school down, but most of all you’ve let yourself down.
I know it’s naughty, but I gotta know…
When Santa does come once a year… does Mrs.Claus say “Let it Snow” or “Let it Go”?
Sara Jessica Parker walks into a bar
And the bartender says, “what can I get you?”
My wife asked me to provide her with encouragement as she attempts to lose weight next year.
I said, “Don’t worry. It’ll be a piece of cake.”
3 men walk into a bar
Man 1 starts to kiss man 2Man 3: “dude you can’t do that here”Man 2: “why not, it’s 2019 dude”Man 3: “not for long…”
I remember once at school we had a spelling bee
We also had an ant that could tap dance
People never talk about the 12th reindeer, probably because she’s so rude to Rudolph
Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names
Before my surgery my anaesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Sidemen v Others (Sorry Callux)
Others: Got a new song incoming stay tuned to my main channelSidemen: Our songs will be posted on our second channel
Ready? On Three: why does every French cat drown?
Un, Deux, Trois… Cat sank
Wow these kenyans run so fast.
Dude they do naerobics.
What’s another term for an unpaid internship?
A preoccupation.
People’s Postcode Lottery?
Is this nonsense? Does anyone win? Do you do it?
I dont like to sit infront of people that talk too much.
But when I do I just go, hey man, you want some taffy.
What did the sorority girl say when she saw Santa delivering presents?
“Yassss, Sleigh bitch!”
Indian girl sings her first-ever self composed Korean song(self learnt Korean)
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I asked Ryu from Street Fighter, “Can I borrow that uppercut move you do… Whatever that’s called?”
He yelled back “SURE-A-YOU CAN!”
I’d tell you a UDP joke
But you might not get it
shouldn’t gen z be called millenials because our generation actually crosses the millenium?
according to google the years of gen z are 1995-2012 not agreeing but just confused
What happens when a communist gets the flu?
They sneeze (the means of production)
I have a girlfriend,
She just exists in the solution to x^2 +1=0
Did y’all hear about the blonde that got fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away all the Ws
I had to search for the Peloton ad everyone was talking about on YouTube
Then I realized the ad was only targeting people who werent broke
I didn’t get a warranty on my air conditioner…
But it would be cool if I did.
I once saw a group of dudes punching an old man, so I decided to help
He never stood a chance against us