6 six years ago I made a new year’s resolution, and I have never broken it.
“No more New year’s resolutions”
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
What’s a goats favorite song?
Baaaaaad guy. By Billie Eilish
I really love the ticking of old clocks
My psychiatrist calls it a second hand emotion.
Scientists did a study on Metamucil.
Turns out it really is the best shit in the world.
I hate when women state that men can’t multitask
And then I stop what I’m doing so I can get angry
When my plane was landing in Saudi Arabia, the pilot announced, “Don’t forget to adjust your watches to the local time.”
I said, “I don’t think my watch goes back to the 6th century.”
Rudolf (the red-nosed reindeer) found himself leaving a gay bar
and said, “I can’t believe I just blew twenty bucks!”
Why wasn’t Santa too disappointed when his sleigh crashed into a Boeing 747 mid flight?
It only cost him a couple of bucks…
Telling dad jokes if you don’t have kids?
That’s a faux pa.
A man is driving and hits a woman. Who’s fault is it?
It’s the mans fault. Why would he be driving in the kitchen?