This girl told me that she could suck me off inside my own head.
It was truly mind-blowing.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
No one knows what propaganda means anymore.
It’s when a British person takes a really good look at something.
Why did Joseph Stalin always write in lower case letters?
He hated capitalism.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.After a few drinks,… Read More »C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
Kim Kardashian tried to break the internet.
She didn’t succeed but she did leave a large visible crack.
My kids kept finding all the presents I hid around the house so someone suggested I keep them in the attic.
Now they are crying up there and saying it’s too cold and dark.
Why’d the shy spy lose his job?
He was too embarrassed about being debriefed.
So there’s this guy drinking at a bar, getting absolutely shit faced
Near the end of the night, after he had a few too many, he pukes all over his shirt. He’s yells out “oh fuck, not… Read More »So there’s this guy drinking at a bar, getting absolutely shit faced
A man runs into a store.
He approaches the shopkeeper and exclaims, “Help! help! I’ve met a beautiful girl, but she’s trapped at the bottom of a well.” The shopkeeper reaches… Read More »A man runs into a store.
4 comrades go to a Soviet hotel for a night during a business trip…
As they walk into their room, 3 of them, whip out some vodka, food and cigarettes and begin to make jokes about the government and… Read More »4 comrades go to a Soviet hotel for a night during a business trip…
Sometimes I wish I was a tiger in the circus jumping through…
Sometimes I wish I was a tiger in the circus jumping through flaming rings of fire, but instead of flaming rings, they were onion rings,… Read More »Sometimes I wish I was a tiger in the circus jumping through…
Rushing for Black tomato gin
I’ve never run a marathon… But I have walked across a parking lot really fast because the liquor store was about to close.
Something fun to do: Go to a yard sale and secretly place a…
Something fun to do: Go to a yard sale and secretly place a dildo in there and hang around to watch people’s reactions.
They say, “revenge is sweet.” They also say, “revenge is a dish…
They say, “revenge is sweet.” They also say, “revenge is a dish best served cold.” I’ve come to realize revenge is probably ice cream.
I think my bathroom mirror is defective.
I think my bathroom mirror is defective. Every morning it’s out of focus.
I went skydiving and this guy straps himself to me, we jump out…
I went skydiving and this guy straps himself to me, we jump out of the plane and as we plummet, he says to me, “So,… Read More »I went skydiving and this guy straps himself to me, we jump out…
Girl gonna text me “Come fuck me”, like I’m some kind of piece…
Girl gonna text me “Come fuck me”, like I’m some kind of piece of meat. First of all, I’m on my way….
During plane flights, I get really terrible earache!
During plane flights, I get really terrible earache! This year I found a solution that’ll help…. I’ve booked my wife’s seat 10 rows back.
Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they’re telling me…
Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they’re telling me I’m doing a good job driving.
All porn films should start with 5 seconds of music, to remind…
All porn films should start with 5 seconds of music, to remind me that my volume is turned up. ???
Getting offended by something on the internet is like choosing…
Getting offended by something on the internet is like choosing to step in dogshit instead of walking around it.
Barcelona came to Anfield 4 nothing..
Barcelona came to Anfield 4 nothing..
Teacher: Your daughter said the F word in class.
Teacher: Your daughter said the F word in class. Me: Well…She didn’t fucking learn it from me.
The only advantage other people have over me is that they can…
The only advantage other people have over me is that they can kiss my ass and I can’t.
New scientific evidence has come to light that one beer takes…
New scientific evidence has come to light that one beer takes nine minutes off your life. According to my calculations, I died sometime in September… Read More »New scientific evidence has come to light that one beer takes…
I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said,…
I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said, “harrow, I’m Wang Kin the Chef” I said, “No worries mate, I’ll call back… Read More »I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said,…
It’s not about how many times you fall.
It’s not about how many times you fall. It’s about how many times you get back up. Cop: That’s not how field sobriety tests work,… Read More »It’s not about how many times you fall.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my…
If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks….Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.
Boss: You’re doing great!
Boss: You’re doing great! Keep doing what you’re doing. Me: I wish I knew what I was doing.
Me: Do you want me to look into your eyes when I stick it in my…
Me: Do you want me to look into your eyes when I stick it in my mouth? Officer: Ma’am just blow into the breathalyzer please.