Remember to take a pair of scissors when going to the supermarket
So you can cut the line.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
A panda walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the… Read More »A panda walks into a bar.
The first thing you have to learn before squatting at the gym…
… is to set up a bar in Iraq.
I like my coffee like I like my women
Without a penis.
Guy 1: what will I be doing next year?
Guy 2: I dunno, I don’t have 2020 vision
I got banned form r/funny
I posted a few submissions which I thought were really funny and wanted to share but I was banned because they were previously posted in… Read More »I got banned form r/funny
Why is the ground so hard?
Because it’s a snow penis.-My cousins 8 year old son
I like my coffee how I like my women…
Cold and bitter.
The Significance of Mole Locations
Do you guys believe that there is a spiritual/magickal significance of certain mole or freckle locations? For example, I have a mole at the sole… Read More »The Significance of Mole Locations
My wife asked me today if I was still talking my fiber supplements.
I said I wasn’t being very regular about it.
A couple have just had a baby
They go to the doctor to have the baby checked up.Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.Dad: what’s the good news please.Doctor: your… Read More »A couple have just had a baby
Three people are stranded on an island with a wizard
The wizard tells them “When you climb those trees,whatever you ask for will be at the top waiting for you.” The first guy climbs and… Read More »Three people are stranded on an island with a wizard
My mother just got a sewing machine
Needles to say, she was sattisfied
A boy and a girl were best friends since they were kids
They used to play with wooden toy pirates after school, using ventilation shafts in each others’ houses as their place to get away from their… Read More »A boy and a girl were best friends since they were kids
People can be so thoughtless; it’s better to be quiet and not say anything.
So, I’m at the doctors and this person sits next to me and says:”why so glum chum”? Told him to fuck up and went and… Read More »People can be so thoughtless; it’s better to be quiet and not say anything.
I hate these double standards.
if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re “doing a good job” if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
Dealing with a contradiction in a character
I have this one character that supposed to represent two things: Old Money coming with a prestigious name and the self-made man who reach success… Read More »Dealing with a contradiction in a character
What’s the difference between a baby and a boomerang?
When you throw a boomerang off a cliff it comes back to you
A guy is driving past the White House….
…and he sees that the road is blocked, but they are letting cars through one at a time. There are crowds on the sidewalk, shouting,… Read More »A guy is driving past the White House….
I like my iced tea like I like my presidents…
so good it doesn’t need any peach or mint.
I think women breast feeding in public is disgusting.
I was always taught that if you didn’t bring enough for the entire class, nobody gets to have any.
Billy’s mom comes home. “Billy, what’s wrong?” -“Dad hanged himself in the attic!” he said in tears.
The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is… Read More »Billy’s mom comes home. “Billy, what’s wrong?” -“Dad hanged himself in the attic!” he said in tears.
The impeachment of Trump will be a stain on his legacy
Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.
I have his ear in my pocket
Don’t upvote, I just want to find out what the meaning of this joke is and then I’m done.Ivan came home with a bloody nose… Read More »I have his ear in my pocket
I used to think that a shag pile is a type of carpet.
It turns out that it’s a type of friend.
“I can’t go back to that school”
I put down my book, *The Art of the Unseen*, to examine the fiery young lad before me. “What happened, son?””They took one look at… Read More »“I can’t go back to that school”
What do you call a mexican midget?
A paragraph, cause it’s not a full essay.
There aren’t two genders, nor many, but only one
Because it’s Nerf or nothing.
Girlfriend of two years broke up with me this fall, I was devastated. Then I realized…
I had 2 fall to lose it allBut in the end it doesn’t even matter…
I had a dream the ocean was full of orange soda …
It was a Fanta Sea