What is the speed limit of sex?
68.At 69 you have to turn around.
Dirty Jokes
Welcome to our dirty jokes collection, more than 400 of the filthiest and funniest adult jokes we could round up in one place. Expect NSFW one-liners, X-rated puns and cheeky gags made for grown-ups with a dark sense of humor. For the best of them sorted by topic, start with our 200 dirty jokes for adults. New dirty jokes get added all the time, so bookmark the page and check back. Strictly 18+ and definitely not one for the family dinner table.
I dont tell people about my sex life anymore
Because nobody wants to hear my fuckin’ stories
So there’s these three guys coming out of the golf clubhouse on a Friday night.
The gentlemen see a lady shooting left-handed on the practice green nailing 20 foot putts like it was nothing, so the guys ask, “Hey do… Read More »So there’s these three guys coming out of the golf clubhouse on a Friday night.
Two midgets were having a discussion one night about their ever dwindling memories of the last time they had sex.
They came to a unanimous decision that they would pay a visit to a couple of prostitutes at a local whorehouse they had found out… Read More »Two midgets were having a discussion one night about their ever dwindling memories of the last time they had sex.
I call my penis the Canadian
Because it curls when it gets cold.
(OC) what do you call a wall of teenage girls blocking a hallway?
The Great Wall of vagina
Why did they call the painter who liked strangling sex, ‘the vegetable’
Cos he was an artichoke.
A women just gave birth
Soon after her husband pulled the doctor aside and asked him “How soon until we can have sex”?The doctor smiled and replied “I can meet… Read More »A women just gave birth
Whats the diffarence between a dirty busstop and a lobster with breast implants?
One’s a crusty busstation, the other’s a busty crustation.
My girlfriend told me she’s going to be a great comedian one day
She said every time we have sex a joke comes to her
What joke blows up even if someone just thinks about it?
Unfortunately, my dick.
So I was charged for sex trafficking.
Never going to have sex in the middle of the highway anymore.
A couple with kids had made a pact that they would always fulfill each other’s physical desires every time they were in the mood. They had also thought of a secret way of communicating with each-other so that the kids would not understand..
For example, every time one was in the mood for sex, they would say to the other: “can you please help me type a letter… Read More »A couple with kids had made a pact that they would always fulfill each other’s physical desires every time they were in the mood. They had also thought of a secret way of communicating with each-other so that the kids would not understand..
I went to the store and bought naked juice, then called my dad
“Dad, I got naked at the store!” I told him.“Son, your an idiot”
What did the shower say???
Every naked person turns me on!
24 Hours to Live
Barry returned from a doctor’s visit one day and told his wife Carol that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping… Read More »24 Hours to Live
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a hooker with diarrhea?
One of them shucks between fits.
I thought I loved you until you started to show off your true self.
[SERIOUS] [TRIGGER WARNING] The only reason why I broke up with you was because of how poorly you treated me. You never loved me. You… Read More »I thought I loved you until you started to show off your true self.
ITALIANS WILL GET THIS
Im working on a story about a gay puppet who wishes he were human. everytime he tells a lie his penis gets bigger. Im going… Read More »ITALIANS WILL GET THIS
Some girl has stolen my phone and clicked naked selfies.My cloud is full of them now. Somebody help me find her
I need to give her a charger too.
Why are french ducks so sexy?
They have a certain ‘Je ne sais quack’
Boudreaux and the parrot (LONG)
Boudreaux walked past a pet shop every day on his way to work. He saw this nice looking parrot and decided to ask the shop… Read More »Boudreaux and the parrot (LONG)
Celibacy and atheism are quite similar.
One is avoiding sex, and the other is avoiding sects.
I told my wife I was going to give her gold-medal sex.
She said, “Just once, could you give me silver-medal sex and finish second?”
So there was this one prostitute that said she would do anything for money…
There were these really irritating guys that made me want to strangle the life out of their bodies. I asked her if she could beat… Read More »So there was this one prostitute that said she would do anything for money…
All porn films should start with 5 seconds of music, to remind…
All porn films should start with 5 seconds of music, to remind me that my volume is turned up. ???
I have only one word for women that want to treat me like a sex…
I have only one word for women that want to treat me like a sex object… Hey
How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis…..LADDER! I… Read More »How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
JOKESTER
A man wakes up in a hospital bed… The nurse says, I have some bad news. You won’t be able to feel anything from the… Read More »JOKESTER