I saw a clown with suit and case running into an allyway
I think there was some funny business going on there.
thefun
Forget about the past, you can’t change it…
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
I was chatting to a stunningly attractive woman
..and when I asked her name she replied it was Carmen, “because I like cars and men” …”and what’s your name”? she asked me.. Beer… Read More »I was chatting to a stunningly attractive woman
What “Fun” things can you do withoud online?
So i ran out of Playstation Plus and i cannot play online anymore wich sucks i already did the whole storyline and now i dont… Read More »What “Fun” things can you do withoud online?
A newlywed husband visited his priest to get an annulment.
The priest asked, “What is so troubling that you want to end your marriage?” The young man replied, “ My wife and I keep fighting… Read More »A newlywed husband visited his priest to get an annulment.
We decided to organize an intervention for our friend, who is addicted to taking laxatives.
I said, “This shit needs to stop.”
What joke blows up even if someone just thinks about it?
Unfortunately, my dick.
WWII, Eastern Front
Troops under the command of Baghramyan are the first to reach the Baltic. To present his success more pretentiously, the Armenian general personally poured a… Read More »WWII, Eastern Front
What do you call a chameleon that can’t change colors???
Reptile dysfunction…
If life was a comedy
I would be a tragedy. :'(
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers.
Husband: To be honest I didn’t even know she sold them.
So I was charged for sex trafficking.
Never going to have sex in the middle of the highway anymore.
Spoon on the kitchen floor
Son: Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl? Mom: Son, I just wanted to pick up the spoon from… Read More »Spoon on the kitchen floor
Answer in comments
What’s the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
Hey y’all
Can y’all comment on this so I can follow you back
What did one tampon say to the other?
NothingThey were both stuck up cunts .
I had to sit through a 3-hour lecture about drills.
It’s just boring.
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it.
It’s true! I saw it with my own eyes.
Why was Christopher Nolan unable to share his movies?
Because he had NO-LAN!
[Long] [OC] First time. I accept constructive criticism. *There are two friends who always go in search of the best pigs.*
On one day, the second friends birthday, the first friend wishes to find only the most beautiful pig for his friend. He goes searching long… Read More »[Long] [OC] First time. I accept constructive criticism. *There are two friends who always go in search of the best pigs.*
How did the french communist say that he needed to pee?Weewee
How did the french communist say that he needed to pee?Weewee
A chemist walks into a bar and orders a Pb&J sandwich.
He dies of lead poisoning.
My 5 yr old son was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me “Is that a mummy Ionglegs under that daddy Ionglegs?”
No son, there is no mummy Ionglegs only daddy Ionglegs.” I felt pretty proud of my answer, until he stomps on both spiders saying, “We’ll… Read More »My 5 yr old son was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me “Is that a mummy Ionglegs under that daddy Ionglegs?”
People used to call me ugly until they saw my bank account….
Now they call me ugly and poor
I heard a story once about an American train driver.
He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a… Read More »I heard a story once about an American train driver.
A Pig had insomnia and decided to see a Doctor
Pig: Doctor, I’ve been having these terrible nightmares and I can’t sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?Doctor: Can you describe your nightmares to… Read More »A Pig had insomnia and decided to see a Doctor
Did you hear about the boxer who wrapped his tighty-whities around his shoes?
He went through his whole career undie-feeted.
When the doctor diagnosed me with dyslexia
It was music to my arse
Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda’s surname on that new Star Wars show??
I can’t believe it’s Layheehoo
Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
A: They give them gas.