My boss sent me an email in big, dark letters demanding that I personally deliver my report to him ASAP…
I’ve got to hand it to him, that was pretty bold.
thefun
What did the exit sign at the sperm bank say?
Thanks for coming.
My mum doesn’t like people who cuss. My best friend cusses a lot. His name is Red.
It was Fred before she beat the F out of him.
How does a 144 Hz TN panel look?
For reference, I’m currently using a 1440p 144 Hz IPS panel, specifically the Asus MG279Q. While I do like the resolution and refresh rate, I… Read More »How does a 144 Hz TN panel look?
How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar nazi?
You call them antisemantic!
Dad joke
(not original content)Wife: I have to tell you something. I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m Dad. Wife: No you’re not.
What’s the big deal with peeling a banana from the bottom?
I have peeled from the bottom a few times and have found no benefit. In fact a couple of times it gave me a more… Read More »What’s the big deal with peeling a banana from the bottom?
3 ghosts wanted to scare 3 men.
There was a teen ghost, a middle-aged ghost and an aged ghost that wanted to scare 3 men: Joe, Sal and Murr.The teen ghost told… Read More »3 ghosts wanted to scare 3 men.
I took a vitamin supplement in hopes to look much younger.
Didn’t work at all. 🙁 I think this “B 12” slogan should be banned as false advertising!!
It’s hard to go on a date with a librarian
They’re always booked
The rude skeleton!
Why did the skeleton burp in church?He didn’t have the guts to fart.
People keep telling me to take an Anger Management class, but I don’t understand why…
I already know how to piss off management, why would I need to take a class for it?
Sackler Family is all the evidence we need.
The Sackler Family of Perdue Pharmaceutical has stashed billions of dollars away, profits made from the sales of opioids to the American people, profits made… Read More »Sackler Family is all the evidence we need.
Whats the diffarence between a dirty busstop and a lobster with breast implants?
One’s a crusty busstation, the other’s a busty crustation.
Why is dark spelt with a k but not a c?
Why is dark spelt with a k but not a c? Because you cant see in the dark.
My girlfriend told me she’s going to be a great comedian one day
She said every time we have sex a joke comes to her
A doctor I knew fell into a well, but it’s okay because he deserved it.
He should have tended to the sick and left the well alone.
Bang bang
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. The 80-year-old says, “I’ve never felt better.… Read More »Bang bang
Donald Trump is with his driver and he is on the way to an important meeting. He’s running a bit late.
Trump: can you please speed up a little, the meeting will start shortly and we’re quite far away The driver : I can’t really Mr… Read More »Donald Trump is with his driver and he is on the way to an important meeting. He’s running a bit late.
A man is riding through the desert…
Suddenly, he hears a voice, coming from nowhere.”Get off your horse.””What?”, the man asks.”Get off your horse.”The man, slightly irritated, does as the voice commands.”Dig… Read More »A man is riding through the desert…
I took my pie to Detroit, Nebraska and Alabama
My math teacher said that for pie to work take it to 3 dismal places.
1, 3, 5, 7, 9
Because I just can’t even.
Why did the leader of Russia fail his math test?
He didn’t putin enough effort.
I saw a clown with suit and case running into an allyway
I think there was some funny business going on there.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it…
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
I was chatting to a stunningly attractive woman
..and when I asked her name she replied it was Carmen, “because I like cars and men” …”and what’s your name”? she asked me.. Beer… Read More »I was chatting to a stunningly attractive woman
What “Fun” things can you do withoud online?
So i ran out of Playstation Plus and i cannot play online anymore wich sucks i already did the whole storyline and now i dont… Read More »What “Fun” things can you do withoud online?
A newlywed husband visited his priest to get an annulment.
The priest asked, “What is so troubling that you want to end your marriage?” The young man replied, “ My wife and I keep fighting… Read More »A newlywed husband visited his priest to get an annulment.
We decided to organize an intervention for our friend, who is addicted to taking laxatives.
I said, “This shit needs to stop.”