One day, not too far off, Florida will be an entirely Blue state.
With the sea level rising, it’ll be underwater.
thefun
I was buying a Christmas tree off this lady, and she asked “Are you going to put that up yourself?”
I replied “No, I was thinking of putting it up in the living room actually”(Nothing better than a christmas joke on new years eve.)
New Year’s Eve
On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local bar and said that it was time to get ready.At the stroke of midnight, she… Read More »New Year’s Eve
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions
Every year I tune into ‘Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve’ thinking this will be the year it’s worth watching.
But they always drop the ball.
I’ve opened up a restaurant called “Karma”
There is no menu, you get what you deserve.
We shouldn’t worry about our phones and TVs spying on us.
However, our vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years now.
A man is on a stretcher, being prepped for surgery.
The surgeon walks in, takes a deep breath and says:“Okay, David. This is a simple operation.”The man says: “My name isn’t David.”The surgeon replies: “No,… Read More »A man is on a stretcher, being prepped for surgery.
JOKESTER
Get you a girl who doesn’t have a wrong hole.
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on new years eve?
He got 12 months!