What joke blows up even if someone just thinks about it?
Unfortunately, my dick.
thefun
WWII, Eastern Front
Troops under the command of Baghramyan are the first to reach the Baltic. To present his success more pretentiously, the Armenian general personally poured a… Read More »WWII, Eastern Front
What do you call a chameleon that can’t change colors???
Reptile dysfunction…
If life was a comedy
I would be a tragedy. :'(
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers.
Husband: To be honest I didn’t even know she sold them.
So I was charged for sex trafficking.
Never going to have sex in the middle of the highway anymore.
Spoon on the kitchen floor
Son: Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl? Mom: Son, I just wanted to pick up the spoon from… Read More »Spoon on the kitchen floor
Answer in comments
What’s the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
Hey y’all
Can y’all comment on this so I can follow you back
What did one tampon say to the other?
NothingThey were both stuck up cunts .
I had to sit through a 3-hour lecture about drills.
It’s just boring.
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it.
It’s true! I saw it with my own eyes.
Why was Christopher Nolan unable to share his movies?
Because he had NO-LAN!
[Long] [OC] First time. I accept constructive criticism. *There are two friends who always go in search of the best pigs.*
On one day, the second friends birthday, the first friend wishes to find only the most beautiful pig for his friend. He goes searching long… Read More »[Long] [OC] First time. I accept constructive criticism. *There are two friends who always go in search of the best pigs.*
How did the french communist say that he needed to pee?Weewee
How did the french communist say that he needed to pee?Weewee
A chemist walks into a bar and orders a Pb&J sandwich.
He dies of lead poisoning.
My 5 yr old son was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me “Is that a mummy Ionglegs under that daddy Ionglegs?”
No son, there is no mummy Ionglegs only daddy Ionglegs.” I felt pretty proud of my answer, until he stomps on both spiders saying, “We’ll… Read More »My 5 yr old son was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me “Is that a mummy Ionglegs under that daddy Ionglegs?”
People used to call me ugly until they saw my bank account….
Now they call me ugly and poor
I heard a story once about an American train driver.
He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a… Read More »I heard a story once about an American train driver.
A Pig had insomnia and decided to see a Doctor
Pig: Doctor, I’ve been having these terrible nightmares and I can’t sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?Doctor: Can you describe your nightmares to… Read More »A Pig had insomnia and decided to see a Doctor
Did you hear about the boxer who wrapped his tighty-whities around his shoes?
He went through his whole career undie-feeted.
When the doctor diagnosed me with dyslexia
It was music to my arse
Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda’s surname on that new Star Wars show??
I can’t believe it’s Layheehoo
Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
A: They give them gas.
Three logicians enter a bar
The bartender asks them: “Do all three of you want beer?”The first one said: “I don’t know.”The second also said: “I don’t know.”The third one… Read More »Three logicians enter a bar
Someone stole the tires off all the police cars.
The cops are working on it tirelessly.
In which form would the enormous poet always write his poems?
In Iambig Pentameter
Just Post Malone things
Q: What did Post Malone eat for breakfast? A: Toast MaloneQ: What did Post Malone spray on before he left the house? A: Post CologneQ:… Read More »Just Post Malone things
Today I asked the hot girl at the gym what her New Year’s resolution was.
She said “Fuck You…”…So, I’m pretty excited about 2020.
This Time of the Year…
Am I the only one who thinks of Mr. Stay Puft when I step on snow and hear it smoosh? Always reminded me of the… Read More »This Time of the Year…