Two peanuts walking down a dark alley..
One was assaulted.
thefun
How to get laid for free without the trouble of dating…
..Start working at the mortuary like me.
A girlfriend is feeling like a stranger
A girl named Amanda has been dating a boy called Bill for 6 years. Amanda has been anticipating a marriage proposal from Bill ever since… Read More »A girlfriend is feeling like a stranger
Every face tells a story
And mine is a horror story
Why couldn’t the man hear the psycho killer in the stall next to him?
The ‘p’ was silent
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Hey… do you smell carrots?
Mystical Ideas
Ok so in a game a player is deciding whether or not to play a mystic and I’m not sure about it. Would you allow… Read More »Mystical Ideas
I had to break up with my girlfriend because she had something stuck between her teeth!
It was my best friend Dave.
How did the Lost survivors get back to the world
They had a Shepard
When you realise the labour party were winning the election on Thursday…
Until work finished at 5 and everyone voted conservative.
Congrats to Juice Wrld…
My man is one week sober.
I just did a public rant about how evil people who make up stories on the internet are.
When I was done, everyone clapped.
Why don’t roosters lay eggs?
They are too busy laying hens
One man said to a chocolate maker “Are you a magician?”
The chocolate maker said “No, but I got a couple twix up my sleeve.”
Why can’t you convicted Abraham Lincoln?
Because he’s always in a cent
Someone people are good-looking enough for others to assume they must be an IG influencer…
People take one look at me and assume I have reddit.
An acorn is not a corn
and a corn is not an acorn
3 men were stranded in a desert
3 men were stranded in a desert.They were dying of thirst when a genie appeared to them. The genie said, “Here, I have a magical… Read More »3 men were stranded in a desert
Why did the pawn shop buy the oldest piece of chewing gum in the world?
Because it was in mint condition
I got a paper joke for y’all.
It is tearable.
So I was wondering what GOLF GTI stands for:
Girls Only Love Fun. Get Them Inside.
I just dropped my award for feline rectal examinations and it smashed
It was a catastrophe
Land Mines
The Soviet Union don’t use land mines.They use land OURS.
Why is Kim Jong Un so unfit?
Probably because he didn’t have to run for office.
Everyone talks about how trans people are the most marginalized
and it’s true. But trans fats are the most margerinized!
Teacher – What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Student – I don’t know and I don’t care
Why are balloons so damn expensive?
Because of inflation.
Whats the deal with Jorge Elbrecht?
Why does he look like this now? Is it makeup or did something happen to the poor fella?