3 men are lost in a desert
They’re on the verge of dying from dehydration when they find a genie lamp on the ground. They rub it and a genie comes out… Read More »3 men are lost in a desert
thefun
A women just gave birth
Soon after her husband pulled the doctor aside and asked him “How soon until we can have sex”?The doctor smiled and replied “I can meet… Read More »A women just gave birth
Good TV stands for 43 inch ?
Budget is around $200 and im looking for something simple and can still fit an audio setup (nothing crazy)
Say “beer can” in a British accent.
No, wait, that’s “Bacon” in Jamaican.
What would happen if the electricity was disconnected at a brothel?
They would have to use a candle.
I HATE MY BUS DRIVER SO MUCH OMFG
Some kid was being annoying, so I lightly kicked him, so he would get the message that he was being obnoxious, and the bus driver… Read More »I HATE MY BUS DRIVER SO MUCH OMFG
My boss sent me an email in big, dark letters demanding that I personally deliver my report to him ASAP…
I’ve got to hand it to him, that was pretty bold.
What did the exit sign at the sperm bank say?
Thanks for coming.
My mum doesn’t like people who cuss. My best friend cusses a lot. His name is Red.
It was Fred before she beat the F out of him.
How does a 144 Hz TN panel look?
For reference, I’m currently using a 1440p 144 Hz IPS panel, specifically the Asus MG279Q. While I do like the resolution and refresh rate, I… Read More »How does a 144 Hz TN panel look?
How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar nazi?
You call them antisemantic!
Dad joke
(not original content)Wife: I have to tell you something. I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m Dad. Wife: No you’re not.
What’s the big deal with peeling a banana from the bottom?
I have peeled from the bottom a few times and have found no benefit. In fact a couple of times it gave me a more… Read More »What’s the big deal with peeling a banana from the bottom?
3 ghosts wanted to scare 3 men.
There was a teen ghost, a middle-aged ghost and an aged ghost that wanted to scare 3 men: Joe, Sal and Murr.The teen ghost told… Read More »3 ghosts wanted to scare 3 men.
I took a vitamin supplement in hopes to look much younger.
Didn’t work at all. 🙁 I think this “B 12” slogan should be banned as false advertising!!
It’s hard to go on a date with a librarian
They’re always booked
The rude skeleton!
Why did the skeleton burp in church?He didn’t have the guts to fart.
People keep telling me to take an Anger Management class, but I don’t understand why…
I already know how to piss off management, why would I need to take a class for it?
Sackler Family is all the evidence we need.
The Sackler Family of Perdue Pharmaceutical has stashed billions of dollars away, profits made from the sales of opioids to the American people, profits made… Read More »Sackler Family is all the evidence we need.
Whats the diffarence between a dirty busstop and a lobster with breast implants?
One’s a crusty busstation, the other’s a busty crustation.
Why is dark spelt with a k but not a c?
Why is dark spelt with a k but not a c? Because you cant see in the dark.
My girlfriend told me she’s going to be a great comedian one day
She said every time we have sex a joke comes to her
A doctor I knew fell into a well, but it’s okay because he deserved it.
He should have tended to the sick and left the well alone.
Bang bang
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. The 80-year-old says, “I’ve never felt better.… Read More »Bang bang
Donald Trump is with his driver and he is on the way to an important meeting. He’s running a bit late.
Trump: can you please speed up a little, the meeting will start shortly and we’re quite far away The driver : I can’t really Mr… Read More »Donald Trump is with his driver and he is on the way to an important meeting. He’s running a bit late.
A man is riding through the desert…
Suddenly, he hears a voice, coming from nowhere.”Get off your horse.””What?”, the man asks.”Get off your horse.”The man, slightly irritated, does as the voice commands.”Dig… Read More »A man is riding through the desert…
I took my pie to Detroit, Nebraska and Alabama
My math teacher said that for pie to work take it to 3 dismal places.
1, 3, 5, 7, 9
Because I just can’t even.
Why did the leader of Russia fail his math test?
He didn’t putin enough effort.