Everything is goes to the plan
In fact, putler is sending his reserve army to Ukraine to find out what happened to the regular one.
thefun
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today, I will demonstrate how to use a condom”. After he starts eating the… Read More »A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm. Husband: Well this morning if I’m not mistaken. Wife: Yeah in your dreams.Husband: No… Read More »Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all?
Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all? Jane: Yes I do. Mary: Wow, what sports do you do? Jane: I do cross… Read More »Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all?
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another…
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another round right after they finished having sex. “Come again?”
I’m not racist my sense of humor is black.
I’m not racist my sense of humor is black.
Boss: “You have to take a drugs test.” Me: *knows all the drugs*…
Boss: “You have to take a drugs test.” Me: *knows all the drugs* “No problem…”
Phone: Files have been saved to device.
Phone: Files have been saved to device. Me: Sweet. Where? Phone: I don’t know.
Wife: Honey, the vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck any more!
Wife: Honey, the vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck any more! Hubby: Wait let me see……ah….we have to get a new one…..this one probably got married!
I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall.
I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall. I was about to confront them but I managed to calm myself down. That wouldn’t… Read More »I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall.
Hubby: Babe, I had a wet dream about you last night.
Hubby: Babe, I had a wet dream about you last night. Wife: Oh yeah? What was I wearing? Or not wearing? Hubby: Well…it was a… Read More »Hubby: Babe, I had a wet dream about you last night.
A man died and went to heaven.
A man died and went to heaven. A few days later his wife died and she also went to heaven. She saw him there and… Read More »A man died and went to heaven.
Apparently having sex constantly helps the memory..
Apparently having sex constantly helps the memory.. Happy Christmas everybody..
I hate it someone says “Get a job doing what you love”.
I hate it someone says “Get a job doing what you love”. Who is gonna pay me to chug Vodka and and act like an… Read More »I hate it someone says “Get a job doing what you love”.
What if Noah made a website?
what if Noah made a website? He would call it Waterbnb
You always claim Germans don’t have humour, but we have.
You always claim Germans don’t have humour, but we have. It’s just like healthcare. Most Americans don’t get it.
Yesterday I was diagnosed as a kleptomaniac I’m taking something…
Yesterday I was diagnosed as a kleptomaniac I’m taking something for it three times a day.
My girlfriend said “Don’t talk about sex until we’re married”…
My girlfriend said “Don’t talk about sex until we’re married” Now we’re married she says “you can TALK about sex all you want..”
Terrible night.
Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn’t working.
After so many years..
A guy asks his girlfriend for a blowjob. She says “No, you won’t respect me enough to marry me and I love you.” After they’re… Read More »After so many years..
I got home from the pub about midnight Sunday.
I got home from the pub about midnight Sunday. The wife was sat in the armchair, crying her eyes out in the dark. I could… Read More »I got home from the pub about midnight Sunday.
Has there been any lesbian divorces yet…
Has there been any lesbian divorces yet… I’m interested to see how both women will get 80% of the assets
I’ve just put a shit load of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
I’ve just put a shit load of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal.
if I don`t have a job I can get my…
A hot girlfriend is like a job It’s easier to get one once you already have one…
In response to Sweden and Finland joining NATO, Russia…
In response to Sweden and Finland joining NATO, Russia introduces embargoes on Absolut and Finland.
Fool me nice
My friend managed to fool me into volunteering in a cat shelter. He said there was a lot of pussies I could play with.
Honey, where are you running now?
Anal sex keeps my wife in shape. Every time I just mention it and she runs a mile from me
Tale without make-up
– Who are you? – Sleeping beauty! – Why are you so ugly? – I just woke up!
They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work…
They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work Which is ridiculous, I’m already very good at it.
A husband, wracked with guilt finally confesses to his…
A husband, wracked with guilt finally confesses to his wife……”dear, when I have sex with you, I often think of other women!” “You bastard!” she… Read More »A husband, wracked with guilt finally confesses to his…