– “Babe are you mad?” – “Yes!
– “Babe are you mad?” – “Yes! I’m going to explain to you why so you can solve it and this won’t repeat itself!” –… Read More »– “Babe are you mad?” – “Yes!
thefun
Wife – “You said you weren’t going to drink more!” Me – “I’m not.
Wife – “You said you weren’t going to drink more!” Me – “I’m not. I’m going to drink the same like before.”
All my life, I never imagined I’d wake up at 6am and go…
All my life, I never imagined I’d wake up at 6am and go jogging….. …..And I was right.
I love watching Women’s Heavyweight Boxing…
I love watching Women’s Heavyweight Boxing… It’s hilarious to see them fight back the tears when the announcer tells everyone their weight.
The older I get, the more I understand why Noah only allowed…
The older I get, the more I understand why Noah only allowed animals on his boat.
My new year’s resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of…
My new year’s resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in… Read More »My new year’s resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of…
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE I know im early but i suffer from…
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE I know im early but i suffer from premature congratulation.
I went out for a few beers with my mates at lunchtime on…
I went out for a few beers with my mates at lunchtime on Christmas Eve and didn’t get back until this afternoon… When I arrived… Read More »I went out for a few beers with my mates at lunchtime on…
I bought a Russian advent calendar.
I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, it took my breath away?
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, it took my breath away? I’ve never run so fast.
I still remember the day my mum and dad told me that Santa…
I still remember the day my mum and dad told me that Santa wasn’t real. I was heart broken… I jumped in my car and… Read More »I still remember the day my mum and dad told me that Santa…
“Well, thank god that’s all over and out of the way for another…
“Well, thank god that’s all over and out of the way for another year”!…. Said the wife as I rolled off the top of her… Read More »“Well, thank god that’s all over and out of the way for another…
What’s the difference between your cat and your wife?
What’s the difference between your cat and your wife? One doesn’t care whether you live or die and refuses to eat anything you make, and… Read More »What’s the difference between your cat and your wife?
Do you know the best way to keep an air fryer clean?
Do you know the best way to keep an air fryer clean? Dont buy one.
Which car is best for off-road?
Which car is best for off-road? A company car…
Why do Adam and Eve use Android?
Why do Adam and Eve use Android? Because Eve violated the apple terms and conditions.
I met a woman at the bar and asked to take her home She said I’m…
I met a woman at the bar and asked to take her home She said I’m on my menstrual cycle, I said that’s okay I’ll… Read More »I met a woman at the bar and asked to take her home She said I’m…
What do you call a bodybuilder with a large penis?
What do you call a bodybuilder with a large penis? A beginner.
The wife has just been diagnosed with an iron deficiency….
The wife has just been diagnosed with an iron deficiency…. So I’ve bought her a new one for Christmas🎄🎅
I’ve never been able to tell my mechanic my car problems, with…
I’ve never been able to tell my mechanic my car problems, with out reverting to sound effects
My mates call me stingy, so I decided to buy them a beer.
My mates call me stingy, so I decided to buy them a beer. Turns out, they wanted 1 each.
@Маке
Anything is possible. Tenderly, gently and a little trotil.
My wife was scrolling through Twitter and says, “wow, some…
My wife was scrolling through Twitter and says, “wow, some people are fucking idiots!” I replied, “I know, I’m one of them”
My boss pays me just enough so that he knows I won’t quit, so I…
My boss pays me just enough so that he knows I won’t quit, so I do just enough work so that I know he won’t… Read More »My boss pays me just enough so that he knows I won’t quit, so I…
A friend’s mother gave me a Blowjob.
A friend’s mother gave me a Blowjob. I didn’t think I’d be blowing up balloons for his party.
A man called his twin brother from prison.
A man called his twin brother from prison. A man called his twin brother from prison. “Hey remember when we were kids and use to… Read More »A man called his twin brother from prison.
What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek?
What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek? With Hide & Seek I can count to ten before I shout, “I’m coming, ready or… Read More »What’s the difference between Sex, and Hide & Seek?
Extrovert: It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Extrovert: It’s a pleasure to meet you. Introvert: It’s a pressure to meet you.
I just walked into a restaurant.
I just walked into a restaurant. They asked if I had any reservations. I said yes, I heard the reviews were shit.
Today I was thinking that I needed a break from life, then it…
Today I was thinking that I needed a break from life, then it dawned on me that life is fine, I need a break from… Read More »Today I was thinking that I needed a break from life, then it…