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The Good News

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The doctor: – I have good news and bad news. – Start with the bad. – You’ll be dead within 24 hours. – And the good news? – I slept with your wife last night.

Almost Won

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A boxer comes home after a fight, completely beaten up. His wife asks: – Did you win? – Almost. I came second.

Extreme Sports

A man walks into the doctor’s office covered in bruises. – What happened to you? Do you do extreme sports? – Yes. I disagree with my wife.

Plague in Siberia

Mr Putin, why is there a plague epidemic in Siberia? Because in Russia, life is just like in the 14th century!

Heine’s Will

Heinrich Heine left everything to his wife on condition that she remarry, so at least one man would regret his death.

Finishing Together

I wish we could finish together, just once… And what do you want me to do, hire a conductor?

Walking by Proxy

“Right, I’m heading out for a walk.” “Can you take my watch with you?” Author: TWONKS

Masked Rodent (58200)

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After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo Ingles.”

num-num

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A young woman goes to the gynecologist’s for the first time. She disrobes and places her legs in the stirrups. As the doctor begins to… Read More »num-num

Mrs Simmons

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I entered a competion for kleptomaniacs. I took first prize…and second prize, and third prize, and a couple of unattended handbags…

Happy Father’s Day

A new teacher joins a school. She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance. The teacher asks: Twins…? Boys: No, we are neighbours!

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